October 10, 2011

When I was a young man, I joined a fraternity.  Joining Sigma Alpha Mu proved to be one of the best things I ever did and the friendships I formed as a member of S.A.M. 40 years ago are still fast and firm.  When you join a fraternity, part of the ritual is learning a secret handshake which serves to identify you to others in the organization.

Last week, a local chiropractor stopped by my office to introduce himself and inform me about the services he could offer my patients.  Over the years, I have worked with local chiropractors, blending allopathic and alternative medicine, to achieve results not obtainable by either discipline alone.  I must admit, I am somewhat jealous of chiropractors.

I often imagined that, upon graduation from chiropractic school, chiropractors are taught a secret handshake that is endowed with magic.  Confused?  So am I!

As a physician, I generally get three attempts at healing a patient before he starts questioning my abilities and seeking further opinions from various other disciplines (including Dr. Google).  The typical conversation goes like this:

“Doc, the pills aren’t helping.  The physical therapy is not helping!  My back hurts.  Do you think I should see an orthopedist or a chiropractor?  Get an MRI?  My back has been bad for almost a month!”

Yep, I saw this patient 3 times for his lumbago; and, while he is better, he’s not well.  I’ve changed his meds once and started him in physical therapy.  Back pain often takes weeks to months to correct, especially when the patient is out of shape.

Now, imagine the following scenario:

“Mr. P, you have a strep throat and I’m going to start you on an antibiotic.  I’ve noticed your back is bothering you; how long have you been having problems with your back?”

Mr. P – “My backs been bad for years but Dr. Chiropractor takes care of it.  I need an adjustment and I’ll be fine!”

Doc - “Mr. P. how long have you been seeing Dr. C?”

Mr. P – “Ten years.  He adjusts me once every month or so.  I’m seeing him in the morning.”

I’m seriously jealous!  Why don’t I get 10 years?  After one month, I’m a failure.  Chronic problems require chronic management, but 10 years?   I think I’ll go to night school to get my doctor of chiropractic medicine just so I can learn the hand shake.

Seriously, I am not dissing chiropractic.  I just want to know how they do it!