June 29, 2011
I’ve finally done it. I’ve come up with that once in a lifetime idea that will make me independently wealthy. It’s ingenious, fail proof, and won’t cost much to get up and running. Guaranteed success!
I don’t know why I never thought of it before. I’m shocked no one else has ever done it. I’m barraged with requests for it on a daily basis. The whole world is in love with generics. They are cheap and satisfy a base need. They are readily available. Demand is so high they are in short supply.
Are you ready for the future? Picture this, a chain of cheap generic restaurants! Cheap, no thrills diners offering nothing special other than generic food on generic paper plates with generic plastic forks and knifes. I won’t even need to invest in décor!
Once my generic restaurants are open, no one will want that expensive branded food anymore. The big names in the business won’t know what hit them. Why go to Gibson’s for a fantastic prime steak when you can eat my generic round steak for a tenth of the price. I won’t need chefs. At “Gino Generic’s”, I will throw on a little government surplus garlic, some generic mashed potato mix and serve up a nice salad (ingredients purchased daily on the final sale cart at the local grocer). Wow, a generic, cost conscious meal!
I never did understand why people took their families out to those overpriced, branded, chain restaurants. They are the reason the nation is in the midst of an obesity crisis. All of those high-end chefs cooking up those fat laden, calorie rich meals are destroying the economy.
At “Generic Joes”, our motto is “You’ll never get fat eating our bland, generic meals.” We base our menus on real food, the way G-d intended it to be: raw, with very little prep. After all, food is food, isn’t it?
Seriously, aren’t generics the same as branded? You’ll love our road kill stew. Our crews are out 24 hours a day, shopping the highway to bring you the best generics on the market at the cheapest price.
So the next time you are headed out with your loved ones for a $75 a person feast at Stoney River, think about the economy, your waist line and the national financial crisis, and go to “Generic Stew’s” for a really generic, cheap, and really fresh, road kill stew. Just good generic eating!