May 26, 2011
In April, I wrote an article entitled “NO!”, praising the word “NO”. I stated that “NO!” was actually a positive word. Today, I want to talk about that other, extremely positive word, “YES”. (http://livewellthy.org/2011/04/08/no.aspx)
“Yes” can be the greatest of all words. It can bring smiles to people’s faces and garner profuse thanks. Most of the time, when I say, “Yes”, it feels good! There are times when I’d really like to say, “No”, but say, “yes” instead. Those are times when saying, “Yes” to someone else’s wishes brings more value than standing by my “no”.
In medicine as in life, everything revolves around a risk versus benefit ratio. To be truly “wellthy” is to strike a careful balance between saying “Yes” and saying “No”. How do you strike that balance? It’s not easy! My personal approach has been to say “Yes” as much as possible. When I am faced with a difficult decision, I revert to being a doctor. My analysis goes like this:
- Who benefits from my saying yes?
- What is the benefit of my saying yes?
- What is the risk of saying yes?
- Who could be hurt if I say yes?
- What is the cost of saying yes?
- What happens if I say no?
- Who benefits if I say no?
- Who gets hurt if I say no?
- What is the cost of saying no?
It’s really quite complicated. I’m almost 60 and I’m still working on this conundrum. The one thing I have figured out is that saying “Yes” to my wife is always the right decision. Seeing her smile carries benefit that far outweighs any risk or cost. Saying “Yes” to my mother is also wise. I used to say “Yes” to everything my children wanted. The cost of saying “No” was too great (eternal nagging). Happily, they are grown up.
This weekend, my son gets married. With marriage and family comes the “yes, no” conundrum. Hopefully, this article helps him solve the problem and develop wellth.
Jeremy, after saying “I do”, say “Yes” as often as possible. Seeing Allyson smile will be worth it.
Allyson, after saying “I do”. Say “Yes” as often as possible. Seeing Jeremy smile will be worth everything.
Jeremy and Allyson, once you are married, say “Yes” as often as possible to your mother and mother-in-law. Rick and I will sure appreciate the smiles on our wives’ faces and we will reward you both!