WHEN NOT TO DRIVE

There is a time in everyone’s life when he/she has to give up driving.  Turning over your keys to a loved one is one of the most difficult tasks you’ll ever have to do.  My time has come and I no longer drive.   I promised my family that I wouldn’t be an asshole about it and I kept my promise.  Now I’m sorry I did.

As many of you know, I was looking forward to spending 2 weeks in the Chicago area in September.  I had arranged for a second driver to join Renee in our cross- country trek.  Unfortunately, my second driver is no longer able to make the trip and I’m cancelling my plans.

Eventually, Renee and I will make it to Chicago.  We’ll see old friends, eat at our favorite restaurants and re-live past glories.   I had plans to meet many of my patients and friends at the Score Board in LZ for lunch and to reminisce about the good old days.  In the meantime, if I delivered you or attended to you at the time of your birth, please drop me a note.  If you are not sure, ask your folks or look at the signature on your birth certificate.  If I live long enough, I’ll write a second book, “The General Practitioners, where did they go and why we need to find them.”

Today’s joke: The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it with his next shot and hits with his third. He turns to the group and says, “It was too small for a condor, too big for a sparrow. I think that it was probably a duck.”

The radiologist sees a duck, aims a shotgun, hits the duck, and turns to the group. He states, “I just hit a flying animal. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. Possible flying squirrel. Cannot exclude a pterodactyl at this point. I think I should shoot it again, but with a scoped rifle next time.”

The emergency physician spots a duck flying above the marsh and aims a huge, automatic combat shotgun, unloading two full magazines into the air, as the other physicians take cover behind him. After the tremendous noise ceases, the intern uncovers his ears and shouts, “What the hell was that?” The emergency physician turns around and says, “I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure that I hit it.”


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