MY SECRET WEAPON

I have a new secret weapon in my war against obesity.  When I was a child growing up in Norfolk, Va., one of my favorite things to do was to go to City Park.  City Park was our local zoo and there were two attractions which I loved.

The first attraction was the monkey cages.  There was an old chimp who loved to spit at people.  At times, the chimp would resort to other, more grotesque behaviors, including throwing his poop or even masturbating (I’ll leave the rest to your imagination).  As a child, his outrageous behavior was funny, especially if you were with an out-of-towner who didn’t know he/she would need to duck.  As an adult dealing with HMOs, I often thought of that chimp and I had a lot in common (locked in a cage and put on display) and how much fun it would be to throw stuff at the insurers of America.

But this article is not about spitting on the insurance companies.  It’s about the second reason I loved going to City Park.  My dad would take me to the concession stand (an old log cabin) and buy me a root beer snow cone.  On a hot summer day, there was nothing better than a root beer snow cone.  Fast forward to three weeks ago.  I had failed multiple times in my quest to improve my diet.  I had just discovered The Snow Cone Cabin and fell in love with it.  It made me feel like a child again.  It was also too crowded and many of its patrons ignored the Covid rules to such a degree that I was uncomfortable being there.

So, I came home and surfed the net.  I found exactly what I was looking for.  My Zeny snowball machine is fantastic!  Now, any time I want a snack, I make a snowball. Unfortunately, I have not found a diet root beer syrup yet, but diet cherry or grape suffices. Filling, refreshing and zero calories, my secret weapon is my new best friend.  Stop by and enjoy one with me anytime!

Now, all I need to do is find that chimp!  There are some insurers I’d love to introduce him to.

Here’s your music and a joke.

When I was five, my dad put Snowball into the blender to make a slushie.

I miss Snowball.  She was a good cat