AGING

David sent me an email full of jokes this morning.  The one I liked best proclaimed that today most conversations begin with, “Did I tell you this already,” or, “Now what was I saying?” Obviously, the jokes were about old people and were not really jokes.  Instead, they were astute observations which clearly elucidate my current stage of life.

Now that the pool is opened, Renee and I are meeting our new neighbors.  I’ve never been good with names so it’s not surprising that I can’t remember the majority of the names of my new neighbors.  What’s scary is when I can’t even remember meeting them yesterday and the day before.  I have CRS (Can’t Remember Shit) as do the majority of the new residents in my community.

One of the advantages of living in an elder community is being around people of similar ages makes you realize how normal you really are.  Most of my neighbors have moved here from colder environments and are looking forward to a snowless winter.  Many are widows.  Men just don’t last as long as women.  My buddy likes to attribute the early deaths of his male friends to their being married to women and lack of sex.  Thank God that Renee takes care of the sex issue by taking advantage of my CRS.  She constantly reassures me that we just made love and that I was great!

I’ve seriously considered starting on one of the OTC memory enhancers but can’t find any articles that prove they work.  Besides, I’m already taking pills 4 times a day.  I play memory games frequently.  I’m particularly fond of “Hide and Seek,” where I put my keys down somewhere and have to find them.  Renee plays that game with me!  I also love word games where Renee’s task is to figure out what word or name I’m trying to remember.  I give her clues like, “We met them 10 years ago in Mexico.  He has the big wart on his nose, and she has huge hangers.  She just about can sweep the floor with her fallen breast.”  “What were their names?”

Of course, there are other games like, “What do you want for dinner?”  Often, the game goes on for a full day. Getting old is not easy.  I’ve found that having a sense of humor is important, especially if you’re playing, “Who cut the cheese?”  Renee always wins that game!

Well, it’s time to play Barbie with Kenzie!  Here’s your music for the day and, of course, a joke.  

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, “How much is that new Barbie in the window?”

The Manager replied, “Which one? We have, ‘Barbie goes to the Gym’ for $19.95 …

‘Barbie goes to the Ball’ for $19.95 …

‘Barbie goes Shopping’ for $19.95 …

‘Barbie goes to the Beach’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie goes to the Nightclub’ for $19.95 … and

‘Divorced Barbie’ for $375.00.”

“Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?” Dad asked surprised.

“Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s House, Ken’s boat, Ken’s dog, Ken’s cat and Ken’s furniture.”