HOORAY, IT’S THE FIRST OF MAY

I like a good challenge but this one has bested me.  My neighbor taught me a saying I’ve never heard.  It goes like this, “Hooray, hooray, it’s the first of May, Outdoor sex starts today.”   I like the concept but can’t quite figure out how to write an article about outdoor sex.  As a matter of fact, I can’t remember having outdoor sex!

I remember making out on the beach and getting sand into places it didn’t belong.  I remember fooling around in the mountains of Virginia and being assaulted by rocks and sticks poking up through the blanket we placed on the ground.

Now that I think about it, sex on the balcony of the Holland America cruise ship was outdoors, romantic and downright fantastic.  The moon shining on the ocean, the sound of the waves and the sway of the boat all augmented the experience. Renee, let’s take a cruise!

Outdoor sex sounded good but was uncomfortable unless you were in a tent with a plush sleeping bag or on a cruise ship.  Then, again, that really wasn’t outdoor sex. While my general rule of thumb is any sex is good sex, I guess I’m a prima donna. My definition of roughing it was going to a Holiday Inn.

Well, it’s not much of an article; but this new May First ditty just got me to thinking. Do you remember sex?  Do you remember outdoor sex?  Are they fond memories or things you’d rather forget?  Frankly, I rather forget where the sand went! 

So, what’s this article really about?  My daughter just called to warn me not to see “The Father.” She said it is about dementia from the patient’s point of view.  She said it was very depressing. Dementia is one of the most depressing diseases you can get.  Parkinson’s patients are at increased risk of dementia.  So far, I’m ok.  Hopefully, I’ll dodge that bullet.  In the meantime, dredging up old memories and memorializing them by writing about them is like making deposits in the bank for future use.

It’s also fun.  I imagine my kids are cringing about now; so I’ll quit at this point.

Here’s your joke for the day:

Ever had sex while camping? It’s fucking in-tents.

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