WHY

We baby sat yesterday for my 2-year-old granddaughter.  She’s an incredible kid who almost always has a smile on her face.  It doesn’t take much to make her happy.  She is very inquisitive and is starting into the “why” phase of childhood.  If you’ve raised kids, you know what I’m talking about.

Asking why is how we learn and, as a doctor, how I solved problems and diagnosed diseases for 40 years.  Since retirement, I had pretty much quit asking “why” and just accepted things the way they are.  Not only had I retired, but I had retired the whole concept of “why.”

Yesterday, I pulled my “why” cap out of the closet and have been pondering the question, “why won’t people wear mask and practice social distancing in North Carolina?”  Some “why’s” can’t be answered.  Why am I cursed with this decrypted body that houses my soul is one of those questions that has no answer. Yet, I continue to ask myself that very question.

There are some “why’s” that have to be answered! Why won’t people wear mask and practice social distancing, is one such question. Yesterday I was in Publix doing the weekly grocery shopping.  I wore a N-95 surgical mask and consciously kept at least 9 feet between myself and others.  It wasn’t easy.  It seems that residents of North Carolina must be immune to Covid-19 because 70% of the people shopping with me did not wear mask or keep social distancing rules.  People invaded my safety zone with total disregard for my health needs.

At one point an elderly woman (you know she must have been old if I consider her elderly) wearing a cloth mask over her mouth but not her nose, pushed up next to me to get a can of corn off the shelf (or she just thought I was cute).  She was close enough that I could smell her and she smelled sick.  I moved faster then I’ve moved in years.

WHY? Do you not believe that 120,000 people have died from this virus?  Do you not believe that you are vulnerable?  Do you truly not give a shit about the health of others? Do you believe that wearing a mask and keeping socially distant infringes on your rights as an American citizen?  What the heck is wrong with you?

I hate wearing masks.  I got kicked out of my surgical rotation because of my dislike of surgical masks.  It was my 3rd year of residency and I was scrubbed in on a neck dissection to remove a nasty tumor.  We had been in the operating room for what seemed like a lifetime.  The surgeon asked me what I thought about the surgery.  I know surgeons have major egos but  I didn’t care.  I simply said, “its boring as shit!”  Yep, I hadn’t done my homework.  The surgeon was renown for his neck dissections, and I had just crapped on his “art.”  He was also the Chief of Surgery. 

However, I did accomplish my goal.  I was kicked out of the surgical suite and got to take my mask off.  My upper lip felt like a waterfall.  Sweat dripped off it.  I was relieved until I got called into my director’s office that afternoon.  I was unofficially banned from future surgeries and almost kicked out of the residency.  Luckily, an excellent surgeon, Dr. Ahn, took me under his wing and completed my training.

The point of the story is that if I, a person that hates surgical masks enough to get into serious trouble, wear one, so should you.   If you don’t like wearing masks, you won’t like being on a respirator!  If you don’t believe you are vulnerable to viral infections, you are a fool.  If you are so self-centered that you don’t care about the welfare of others, there’s really nothing I want to say to you other then stay away from me.

In previous articles on this blog, I’ve listed links to teaching sites on YOUTUBE that will show you how to wear a mask and gloves properly.  Having lost my health I can promise you that life will suck without it.  Do everything you can to safeguard and preserve your health now, while you still have it.

One of the greatest pleasures I have had in life is caring for others.  You don’t have to be a doc to feel that pleasure.  Wear a mask and you’re your 6-foot safety zone. Here’s your song for today.  Here’s a joke or two:

Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

Why can’t you trust a burrito?

Because they tend to spill the beans.

Father’s Day

My sister, Martha, suggested that I write an article about my father.  Father’s Day is always a difficult day for me.  Martha posted a picture of my dad and the photo reminded me how much alike we were. The jokes I post at the end of this blog are a tribute to his sense of humor and an attempt to find my own which I lost some time ago.

By some cruel trick of fate, the father (and his father) I most remember is the father who was plagued by Parkinson’s.  His later years must have been miserable, and I wasn’t there to help him through them.  Instead, I lived in Chicago and only caught a glimpse of him on my brief trips to Norfolk.  

The lyrics below remind me of my early memories of my father, and, in the end, I fear reflect my life as a father/doctor.  I also fear that the memories I will leave will be of my latter years, crippled and ultimately destroyed by the same disease that did him in.

My father and mother owned a bar and worked long hours in order to provide for the family.  Renee and I owned a medical practice and worked long hours to care for our patients and provide for the family.  My father never played ball with me, or for the matter, never really engaged in any sport or interest of mine.  When he wasn’t working, he was sleeping. I now know that his Parkinson’s started much earlier than I previously thought, and the sleeping was a symptom.

I did learn from him.  While I was never athletic and did not play on or coach any teams, I rarely missed any games, recitals, etc..  I used to walk out to the front desk and announce that I had an emergency and needed to leave, then raced to one of the kid’s events.  I know it sounds bad, but when you run a walk-in practice, you can’t schedule yourself out.

I also am leaving a written record behind so that when my kids are old and memories fail, they will have my blog to help remind them of who I was before the Parkinson’s and serve as a guide should I have passed this curse on to one of them.  So, here are the lyrics to today’s song and a few jokes to lighten the mood.

My child arrived just the other day

He came to the world in the usual way

But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay

He learned to walk while I was away

And he was talking ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew

He’d say “I’m gonna be like you, dad”

“You know I’m gonna be like you”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when”

But we’ll get together then

You know we’ll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day

He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let’s play

Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today

I got a lot to do, he said, that’s okay

And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed

It said, I’m gonna be like him, yeah

You know I’m gonna be like him

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when”

But we’ll get together then

You know we’ll have a good time then

Well, he came from college just the other day

So much like a man I just had to say

Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?

He shook his head, and he said with a smile

What I’d really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys

See you later, can I have them please?

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, son?” “I don’t know when”

But we’ll get together then, dad

You know we’ll have a good time then

I’ve long since retired and my son’s moved away

I called him up just the other day

I said, I’d like to see you if you don’t mind

He said, I’d love to, dad, if I could find the time

You see, my new job’s a hassle, and the kids have the flu

But it’s sure nice talking to you, dad

It’s been sure nice talking to you

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me

He’d grown up just like me

My boy was just like me

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, son?” “I don’t know when”

But we’ll get together then, dad

We’re gonna have a good time then

My child arrived just the other day

He came to the world in the usual way

But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay

He learned to walk while I was away

And he was talking ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew

He’d say “I’m gonna be like you, dad”

“You know I’m gonna be like you”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when”

But we’ll get together then

You know we’ll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day

He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let’s play

Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today

I got a lot to do, he said, that’s okay

And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed

It said, I’m gonna be like him, yeah

You know I’m gonna be like him

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when”

But we’ll get together then

You know we’ll have a good time then

Well, he came from college just the other day

So much like a man I just had to say

Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?

He shook his head, and he said with a smile

What I’d really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys

See you later, can I have them please?

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, son?” “I don’t know when”

But we’ll get together then, dad

You know we’ll have a good time then

I’ve long since retired and my son’s moved away

I called him up just the other day

I said, I’d like to see you if you don’t mind

He said, I’d love to, dad, if I could find the time

You see, my new job’s a hassle, and the kids have the flu

But it’s sure nice talking to you, dad

It’s been sure nice talking to you

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me

He’d grown up just like me

My boy was just like me

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, son?” “I don’t know when”

But we’ll get together then, dad

We’re gonna have a good time then

Here’s some jokes to lighten your mood.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Well, here we are in the new world.  Two old, partially deaf individuals living the high life in social isolation makes for some interesting conversations.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“I don’t care, whatever you want.”

“I’m ordering pizza what do want on it?”

“I really don’t care, just not pizza!”

“OK, I’ll get fried chicken from Bojangles.”

“The last time we had fried chicken, I got diarrhea.  I don’t want fried chicken.”

“Well then, what do you want for dinner?”

“Whatever you want.  Maybe Chinese?”

“What day is it?”

“I think it’s Tuesday. Isn’t it?”

“Oh shit, it’s Monday and the Chinese restaurant is closed!!!

“Screw dinner.  What do you want to watch?”

“I don’t care, whatever you want to watch.”

Here we go again.  Can you imagine another 10-15 years of this conversation? You have to laugh, or you’ll cry.  I’ve got to admit, partial deafness does lighten the conversation on occasion.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“What do you mean, ’sinner’.  Are you mad at me?”

“I didn’t say sinner, I said dinner.”

“I can’t eat.  I’m too upset.  Why am I a sinner?”

“Now, I can’t remember what I said in the first place, but I think you’re a winner. I’m not mad.”

“I told you before, I already made reservations for this winter in Hilton Head.”

Getting old sure is going to be interesting.

Here’s your music and it’s perfect for this topic.  The joke for today is on me.  Don’t take your diuretic before you sit down to write an article!

Three men were standing side-by-side using the urinal.

The first man finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands … clear up to his elbows … He used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented: “I graduated from Harvard and they taught us to be clean.”

The second man finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented: “I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious.”

The third man zipped up and as he was walking out the door he had a smirk on his face and said: “I don’t know about you guys, but where I went to college, they taught us not to piss on our hands.”

This was one of the first jokes I learned, and it is still funny!

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

One of my best teachers during my residency, Bill Arnold, MD, caught me criticizing the alternative medicine that one of his patients was using for her rheumatoid arthritis.  Bill explained that when there were no conventional treatments available, I should consider the use of less understood and studied alternatives.  

When you are out of options, considering “alternative medicine” makes sense. “Considering” does not necessarily mean using!  In considering the use of an approved treatment, your doc needs to weigh whatever evidence exists, the quality of that evidence, the known risks and drug interactions, to list just a few of the things that go into making a therapeutic decision.

In the early days of my practice, Bill’s advice was golden.  The internet changed everything.  The internet now spews a lot of really good sounding but lousy advice.  If you are trained in scientific research, it is easy to assess the quality of the information you are given.  To the untrained mind, assessing quality is next to impossible.  When dealing with nutraceuticals, assessing risk and drug interactions is also impossible.

Making matters worse, the internet sites pushing alternatives claim that doctors will not tell you about their products because doctors supposedly are shills for big pharma and pharma won’t manufacture their product because there is no profit in “natural” products.  Check out the profit statement of some of these “all natural” companies and the number of zeros will amaze you.

None the less, the medical system in our country is screwed up and makes most docs easy targets.  Unfortunately, the internet is winning, and more and more people are turning to unproven and sometimes dangerous alternatives when there are perfectly safe, conventional cures to be ad.

My music choice today is ZdoggMD’s newest music parody and its message is really good.  Just click on the underlined ZdoggMd above.  I’m sure he gets plenty of hate mail in response to his podcast.  From a personal point of view, receiving hate mail hurts and the anti-vaxers can dump an avalanche of crap on anyone who calls them out!

Here’s your joke for the day:

Every weekend I say, “Bob, you really need to stop drinking.  Luckily, I’m not Bob!”

IT’S A WHOLE NEW WORLD

Yep, it’s a whole new world. Covid-19 has changed everything.  It has created the need for social distancing (which is a very bad thing).  Humans need human contact. I know I do.  Why has the habit of shaking hands lasted centuries?  Why does a true hug feel so good? It’s easy to answer these questions.  Human touch and affection are a necessary part of a healthy life. Covid-19 denies us that contact.

It also distances us on an emotional level. Covering your face hides the facial signs we unconsciously use in communicating with others.  Joy, sorrow, empathy and hate are all hidden under that damn mask we are forced to wear to protect ourselves and others.  So, what can we do?

I think we should be developing “PODS.”  PODS represent People Of Distinct Safety, a group of people with similar risk mindset and respect for Covid-19 precautions with whom you can socialize, hug, shake hands and whatever.

By agreeing to a set of rules, PODS members can become your new social club.  Whereas, in the past, social clubs formed along the lines of ethnicity, hobbies, religion, etc. my proposed club would be formed around your approach to Covid-19 with the express goal of restoring human touch and closeness to our relationships.

A person who does not believe in any precautions would form a group with like-minded individuals and live as he/she has always lived.  An elder with high risk issues, such as mine, would form a club where the members masked whenever in public or with strangers, incessantly wash their hands and wiped down surfaces with antiseptics.  They would pledge to avoid risk takers and only have physical contact with the members of the group.

Is all this really necessary?  Unfortunately, I think it is and I think it’s going to be even more important in the future.  Covid-19 could have been or could become much worse.  Future pandemics may well involve more lethal characteristics.    Our number one weapon will always be social isolation and, as stated above, social isolation carries its own risk.

Oops, I promised not to be depressing.  So, look at the bright side.  You can socialize and fulfill your need for human touch by associating with those of a similar mindset and a pledge to abide by certain rules.

Here’s your music for the day.  Here’s a joke to make you LOL.

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then closed it and went back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again and went to the mail box. She opened and shut it again. Angrily, she went back to the house.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her: “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied: “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying: ‘You’ve got mail!'”

MEXICO

Yesterday, I mentioned that I trained in Mexico.  At first, I was embarrassed to tell people I trained in Mexico.  I hated taking classes in Spanish and hated the professors who refused to speak to me in English even though I knew they were fluent in English.  Their attitude was that asking them to speak English was an insult.

Looking back at those years now makes me proud to have gone there.  I am grateful to have had the experience of living in a foreign country and learning a new language and lifestyle.  My Mexican education was a gift I could not have gotten in the US.  

I found that the majority of the Mexicans I came in contact with were family oriented, caring, hard working individuals.  As a student, we would go out into the countryside and set up temporary clinics for a week at a time.  We would be assigned a hut made from dirt with dirt walls and ceilings and handed a broom to start the day.  Imagine that you are dressed all in white and the first thing you do is sweep dirt, a lot of dirt.  Then we collected old medications from the town folks and set up our pharmacy.

On occasion, we ate lunch with the patients we treated.  If there was a piece of meat on the table, the host insisted that it be given to me.  Once, driving into Guadalajara, my water pump died.  I broke down in front of a dirt hut where a family of six lived.  Roadside assistance eventually fixed my car and filled the radiator with water from a rusty oil barrel.  I turned to my passenger and said, “I don’t want that shit in my car,” at the same time one of the kids scooped a cup full of the foul liquid and drank it.  They were actually giving me their drinking water.  I will forever be indebted to my Mexican hosts for giving the education I needed to practice medicine in the US.

My granddaughter is driving my daughter crazy.  She is at the age when every other word is “Why.”  “Why” is a major word/concept in the US.  It is a word you rarely use in Mexico.  The word for “why” is “por que.”  The word for “because” is “porque.”  When you ask someone “why” you answer your own question, “because.”  Por que?  Porque! 

Unless you’ve lived in another country, you don’t realize that the way we think is not necessarily how others think.  Understanding that what I think and how I react is not necessarily how you are going to think/react was probably the most important thing I learned from my four years in Mexico.

In order to do well in medical school, I had to assimilate.  I had to learn the language and customs of my host country.  To do anything less was considered an insult.  So, why don’t we expect our Mexican immigrants to learn our language and customs?  Obviously, the answer is “porque.” It’s sad, but rather than help them assimilate, we bend over backwards to learn their language and respect their culture.  

Here’s today’s song and joke.  

CUSTOMIZATION

I owed you an article yesterday, but the day got away from me.  Ever have that happen.  When I was working in the office, the day never got away from me.  I was smart and designed a “no appointment necessary” practice so when I walked into the room, I was on time! 

No appointments meant I was always on time.  I loved it as did most of you.  In everyday life, I’m so timely I drive my wife and family nuts.  If I’m supposed to be at your house at 7 pm, I’m cruising the neighborhood at 6:50 knock and on your door a seven. Unfortunately, doing “well care” on a walk-in basis did not work well so I eventually added a limited amount of appointments.

When I added Concierge Medicine to the practice, I added more appointments but started them prior to opening in the morning so I could be on time.  All was well initially but, as the practice aged, the need for appointments increased.  Like well care, taking care of chronic disease is better achieved by appointment medicine.

As you can see, there is no perfect practice style that fits everyone and that is the point of this article.  Customization is the ideal in medicine, dieting, exercise and just about everything.  Unfortunately, in medicine, it is next to impossible.  If you practice by appointment, you either stick to the schedule cutting appointments off when necessary, or you run late.  If you practice walk-in medicine, getting the patient back for the follow up appointment is like pulling teeth.  

That reminds me of a story. In Mexico, the dental students worked alongside of us (the medical students).  They were almost all females, and most were too weak to pull a tooth out, so they had us help them.  It seemed like the treatment for every dental complaint was to pull the tooth so we got a lot of experience.  Needless to say, there were a lot of toothless people wherever we went.  The cost of doing the same thing for everyone in Mexico is losing your teeth (the hard way)!

I’m 2 pounds down in 1 week and doing well.  It’s not easy. I’m customizing my diet, tailoring it to my new lifestyle and environment.  I miss my Chicago favorites but being away from them helps.  I’m going out of my way not to make new Carolina favorites.  I’m getting a lot of support from my readers and I want to thank you all.  I will keep you appraised of my successes and failures.

Now to find a doc who customizes his/her practice to the patient’s needs.  I need some one who will listen to me.  I need someone I can be comfortable listening to.  While I would love to find doc who is on time, I’m too old to believe in fairy tales.  I’m working hard at being positive.

Here’s your music for the day.  Click on underlined words for song. Here’s your joke of the day:

Mickey – “Teacher, do farts have lumps.”

Teacher – “No Mickey, farts are not lumpy.”

Mickey – “Then I shat in my pants.”

BALANCE #3

I’ve talked a lot lately about balance.  There are times where being able to hold your balance is critical. I’ve been doing OK balancing the losses of leaving home to the rewards of establishing a new home.  Renee and the kids and grandkids have done a lot to keep me on my feet as well.

My Parkinson’s is worse.  I have more off time than on time.  It’s going to be time to find a Carolina expert and be a patient again.  I hate giving up my role of doc and taking on the role of patient, but it’s time to do both.  I’ll let you know what the patient experience of an old doc is as I learn about it.

Today’s article is about the loss of balanced caused by Covid-19 and how to restore it. As you know, Jeremy and family are visiting from Georgia. Lisa and family lives here.  Last night Renee and I had a full house and it was great.  Late in the evening we were all feeling no pain and playing a game of Sequence.  As usual, plans for a beach get away were discussed; we actually may be able to do it now that Renee and I live closer to the coast.

Anyway, I had mentioned that one of my favorite restaurants (I know I’m dieting) was Mrs. Wilke’s in Savannah and we should all plan to eat there together.  When asked what was so special about Mrs. Wilke’s, I explain how you are seated at a table of 10, sometimes with strangers, and 20 of the South’s most famous dishes are placed on the table in front of you. Dinner is served communal style. I was in the midst of a semi-orgasmic memory of the feast we had at Mrs. W’s when my daughter pointed out that NO RESTAURANT WOULD EVER BE ABLE TO SERVE THAT WAY IN THE FUTURE.  

That thought knocked me off my feet.  As usual, she was right. If Mrs. W’s offered to seat me with 10 strangers today, I would say she was nuts.  If a restaurant put 20 of the most amazing, savory, comfort foods in front of me today, I would struggle with not eating any and walk away.  One of the wonders of the world just disappeared (at least for a while).

So, when the world around you has gone crazy and become dangerous, how do you remain balanced?  I’ve decided that the answer is to make your world smaller, encompassing the family and friends you love and who make you happy.  Limit the intrusion of the outside world by limiting the background noise spewing from your TV and smart phone.   Most of all, make new memories to use when your old memories become too hurtful to experience, as they came from a different world that no longer exist. 

Here is your music for the day.  There is no joke that would suffice for today.

IT’S THE 90% THAT COUNTS

Yesterday I read something profound on Facebook. “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” — Charles R. Swindoll

I’ve heard it before but this time it really hit home. The world we live in has changed dramatically since Covid-19 struck.  I know that you don’t need me to tell you that.  The changes are evident wherever you go.

What I want to review today is Mr. Swindoll’s statement.  “LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU.” Right now, the 10% he refers to is Covid-19 and it is happening to all of us.  What’s truly important is the “90% HOW YOU REACT.” Here, we all differ.

Jeremy, Allyson and RJ are visiting and helping make my new abode a home.  Last night we ordered take out from a local restaurant.  The place was mobbed, and we had to wait about an hour past the time they told us the food would be ready during which time 30 or so individuals picked up their dinners.

Of the 30 people I witnessed coming, some wore mask, and some didn’t.  Some kept proper social distances, and some didn’t. Some pushed passed the crowd and went into the restaurant, and some didn’t.  As per the usual, the people I saw acted as individuals as expected.  The problem is that acting as individuals is no longer a good thing when it comes to Covid-19.

We desperately need to isolate and destroy Covid-19.  At the same time, we need to open our community and businesses and establish a new norm.  To be successful, we need to be adult enough to follow the rules.  

We need to mask when in public.  We need a reliable source of certified appropriate mask made in the USA.  We need to learn how to properly use and maintain our mask.  We also need to learn how to communicate while wearing a mask as facial cues, integral to good communication skills, are lost due to the mask.

We need to establish our personal space; a 6-foot circle of protection.  People need to recognize and preserve their space and the personal space that belongs to others.  Life has to slow down a little.  Pushing past others to get to the front of the line has to stop.  I’ve always said that something good has to come from something bad in order to lessen the bad.  Slowing down and respecting other’s space will be the “something good.”

The 90% how we react is going to decide how fast we clear the Covid-19 attack and how safe our families and friends will be.  We cannot lapse back into our old ways and assume that Covid-19 will respect our personal space.

Bear with me for just a few minutes more.  Yesterday, I had made an appointment for a massage.  My miserable back calms down after a massage and I haven’t had one since February.  I cancelled that appointment!  I realized I was about to spend 60 minutes in close contact, in a closed room, with someone I didn’t know.

It dawned on me that my masseuse was an individual who might have gone out into the world without a mask.  She might not maintain her personal space.  She might have asymptomatic Covid-19.  

My doctor side kicked in!  In the early days of my practice I treated more venereal disease than in the latter days of my practice.  Why the discrepancy?  Over the years, we learned how to protect ourselves from sexually transmitted disease.  Those who practiced safe sex did well.  Those who didn’t suffered the consequences.

Practice safe sex (hopefully often).  Practice safe Covid-19 rules all the time!

Here’s your song and joke.

“When I was a kid my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a condom,” a man told his buddy.

“Your dad showed you pictures of venereal diseases?” the friend asked.

“No,” the first said, “they were all pictures of me.”

WE NEED MORE HUMOR

In a recent article, I wrote about how important it is for adults to keep a little of their kid alive in themselves.  Today, my inner child came out to play and it felt good.

My bed in a box came today.  It’s a Restonic mattress that carries “The Property Brother’s” logo.  Renee and I are fans of their show.  Having never seen a bed in a box, the kid in me was excited when it was delivered. The box was large and heavy, and I should have waited for Jeremy and Allyson to get home but Renee and I wanted to experience our new bed so we shimmied it into the bedroom and onto the bed frame.  It was kinda like Christmas morning and we weren’t about to wait.

It was also really neat, almost miraculous.  On the bed frame was an unidentifiable mass covered in plastic.  When the plastic was removed the seemingly useless mass started to grow, becoming markedly larger and full. As the mattress erected itself into a useful bedroom necessity, all I could do was marvel at the whole process.  

It really was cool, reminding me of other such miraculous transformations I have witnessed over the years.  It’s important to keep some of your inner child alive.  Only then can you recognize the miracles that surround us every day.  

Renee, my inner kid wants to play.  Want to join us?  Alexa, play a love song.  Our new abode is becoming a home.  

On another subject, I watched a ZdoggMD podcast this morning.  Walgreen’s fired a pharmacist (MAURICE SHAW) because he started doing stand-up comedy during his time off.  It was a fascinating podcast; and, as I have said in the past, we ought to boycott Walgreen’s.  We need more humor in this world and this guy is funny as he introduces you to the difficulties pharmacists encounter on a daily basis.

Here is your song for the day and, of course, a joke.

Life is like a penis; long, soft, free and flowing until a woman comes along and makes it hard.