UP AND DOWN

Up, down, up, down and on and on. Life appears to be a series of ups and downs and when it stops nobody knows. Ups and downs can be good.  At the heart of everything, ups and downs represent the rhythm of love and leads to procreating in a most enjoyable way.

On the other end of our existence, ups and downs are bad being the rhythm of depression and sadness.  August was a particularly rocky month and a good example of the ups and downs.

My August “Ups” list goes as follows:

August starts with road trip in my convertible.  My first stop is Richmond to see Abe and Linda.  Seeing them is always uplifting. 

From Richmond, we travel to northern Virginia for a Bat Mitzvah and family celebration of life.

Next comes Norfolk and my 90 plus year old uncles, my sister-in-law, and other lifelong friends and cousins.

Returning home is usually in the “Ups” category but this time leads to the “Downs.”

My weight is down14 pounds.  That’s a good down!

My August downs not-so-good list goes like this:

My father died in August.  I try to celebrate his life; but, instead, I’m living it.  Parkinson’s is no party!

I came to the conclusion that I’m not physically comfortable anywhere other than home. Yep, I need my lift chair, zero threshold shower, bars and, of course, my bidet.

While visiting my sister-in-law, Renee and I discovered that she is dying and in horrible pain.

Even though Renee and I are driving in a convertible, the top was up.  It was too hot to put the top down!

My car was rear-ended and no longer drivable.

Shortly after returning home, my sister-in-law died and we returned to Norfolk for a funeral.

My uncle tried to serve us cookies and fell flat on his face, breaking his nose.

I regained 6 pounds eating comfort food.

Yep, life is full of “ups and downs”.  It’s what you do with them that counts. I write and talk about them. Life is like riding a roller coaster; once you are in motion, you must ride it to the end.  You might as well enjoy the ride rather than fretting about what’s around the bend or at the bottom of the next hill. RIP, Chrissie.

Here are a couple of jokes:

I went on a roller coaster and the woman next to me would not stop screaming.

Seriously, it was like she had never seen a penis before.

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

“I’d like to be six again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, Wall of Fear, Screaming Monster Roller Coaster – everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure! Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well, Dear, what was it like being six again??”

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression changed, “I meant my dress size, you dumbass!”

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