It’s easy to count someone else’s money. I can guarantee you that the majority of the time, you’ll be wrong. One of my favorite patients, who in later life became a good friend, likes to say, “Doc, if I had your money, I’d be retired and live the high life.”
Family Practice is a nickel and dime specialty. No doc gets rich by going into family medicine. Don’t get me wrong. If I was graduating from a residency program today, I’d still go into family medicine. The only thing I would change is I would spend more time with my own family.
In essence, Renee was a single mom. Most days, I was out of the house by 5:30 am and back by 8:00 pm. The phone rang 2-3 times between 11 pm and 5:30 am. Calls could be as frustrating as a nurse wanting a sleeping pill for a patient at 4 am and as complex as a call from the ICU informing me that my patient was crashing and that I should get out of bed and come in.
It was not uncommon for me to sleep in a call room at Good Shepherd Hospital or in my Lazy Boy lounger in the x-ray room in my office. In retrospect, I was addicted to family practice and OCD in being “available, whenever you need me.”
Despite what you think, I did not make lots of money! One patient who was angry that I kept billing him for “just $10” didn’t realize that there were a lot of people who owed, “just $10!” That $10 went towards paying the bills or salaries. My response to my patient was, “If it’s just $10, then just pay it, please.”
NOW FOR THE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE!
It’s come to my attention that some of my patients are not taking the flu shot this year. Others are not taking the Covid vaccine. If I was lucky, I made $10 per shot. I made $10 whether I spent 5 minutes describing the risks and benefits to a vaccine compliant patient or if I spent 15 minutes trying to teach you why you and your family should be vaccinated. When the anti-vaccer left without being vaccinated, I felt like a fool.
While I made $10 per vaccine given, I made $500 off an ICU admission. If you had only had your shot I would have gotten home sooner ( I also might have gone out of business). As a businessman, I wanted to flag your chart so I wouldn’t waste my time trying to teach you in the future. As a doc, I couldn’t. I was obliged to do everything possible to keep you well. Those readers who were patients will verify that I never gave up. As a retired physician, my suggestion is that, if you don’t want to get vaccinated, you give your doc a signed document stating that you know more than your doctor as you graduated from the Google School of Medicine and that you will not sue when you spend a week in the ICU or possibly die. Oh yes, please pay the $10 bill.
Yes, you are right. Someone may get sick or injured from the vaccine. But someone may slip down the front stairs of his house and break his neck. Are you going to make sure your stairs are as safe as possible or are you going to ignore the warning signs listing by the county building inspector? Are you going to go out or are you going to go out? Get my point?
Here’s your joke:
Minnie told Mickie that she wanted a divorce.
Mickie said, ”Are you fucking serious?
Minnie responded, “No, I’m fucking Goofy.”
