WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Well, here we are in the new world.  Two old, partially deaf individuals living the high life in social isolation makes for some interesting conversations.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“I don’t care, whatever you want.”

“I’m ordering pizza what do want on it?”

“I really don’t care, just not pizza!”

“OK, I’ll get fried chicken from Bojangles.”

“The last time we had fried chicken, I got diarrhea.  I don’t want fried chicken.”

“Well then, what do you want for dinner?”

“Whatever you want.  Maybe Chinese?”

“What day is it?”

“I think it’s Tuesday. Isn’t it?”

“Oh shit, it’s Monday and the Chinese restaurant is closed!!!

“Screw dinner.  What do you want to watch?”

“I don’t care, whatever you want to watch.”

Here we go again.  Can you imagine another 10-15 years of this conversation? You have to laugh, or you’ll cry.  I’ve got to admit, partial deafness does lighten the conversation on occasion.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“What do you mean, ’sinner’.  Are you mad at me?”

“I didn’t say sinner, I said dinner.”

“I can’t eat.  I’m too upset.  Why am I a sinner?”

“Now, I can’t remember what I said in the first place, but I think you’re a winner. I’m not mad.”

“I told you before, I already made reservations for this winter in Hilton Head.”

Getting old sure is going to be interesting.

Here’s your music and it’s perfect for this topic.  The joke for today is on me.  Don’t take your diuretic before you sit down to write an article!

Three men were standing side-by-side using the urinal.

The first man finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands … clear up to his elbows … He used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented: “I graduated from Harvard and they taught us to be clean.”

The second man finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented: “I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious.”

The third man zipped up and as he was walking out the door he had a smirk on his face and said: “I don’t know about you guys, but where I went to college, they taught us not to piss on our hands.”

This was one of the first jokes I learned, and it is still funny!

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