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October 1, 2019

Awakening at 3 am is a killer!  Yes, we don’t have to worry about Parkinson’s killing me, sleep deprivation will get me first!  I’m being a good patient and wearing my CPAP.  It’s not helping.  I go to roll over and the pain in back hits.  If I stay in one position long enough, I get stiff and can’t move.

At some point I get up, come downstairs and try to be constructive.  It’s 4 am and the dishwasher has been emptied, a load of clothes has been run and I’ve straightened up the house. Time to write but nothing comes to mind.

I’ve discovered YouTube.  It’s been helpful in occupying my time.  I’ve blown through the Parkinson’s content.  This morning I discover “TEDx.” I watched “The Magic of Not Giving a F***, “How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over,” and “No Sex Marriage-Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating.”

What a morning.  I learned about destressing your life by being honest and saying “NO” to what you don’t really want to do.  Sometime ago, I developed my Fuck It List and have done well with it.  Number one on my list is I will no longer put a noose (necktie) around my neck and go out pretending to have a good time.

I learned how to stop “screwing myself.”  The speaker states I can have anything I want. (Renee, I want …)  The speaker further states getting what you want is simple (but not easy).  She talks about “activation energy,” self- parenting and forcing yourself to get what you want.  Her video was actually helpful.  She used dieting as an example and I’ve been miserable at dieting since my surgery. While I need to lose weight, I want to eat the Danish!  Time to parent myself and force myself not to eat the Danish or anything not on my diet.

In “No Sex Marriage,” I learned I’m doing pretty good!  Whew!!  If you’re not, watch Maureen McGrath’s TEDx.  The best news today is threefold.  One is that sex exists well into the 90s.  Two is that sexercise should be done daily.  Three is that all marital arguments should be settled in the bedroom, naked.  I like this therapist.  I think I’ll be argumentative and see what happens.

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