70

I’m turning 70 this month.  Seventy has been an eye opener!  My retirement consists of awakening in the am to look at my schedule, then taking pills, eating and off to the first doctor appointment.  Seeing doctors has become a full-time job.  I take meds every 3 hours.  Taking meds is my secondary job.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, I go to “Rock Steady,” my Parkinson’s exercise class.  Next up is meal planning and grocery shopping.  Thank God for motorized shopping carts.  I’ll tell you a secret.  Motorized shopping carts are a chick magnet.  Everyone offers to help me shop.

My afternoons are spent writing and checking out the blogs I follow.  I’ve given up on ZdoggMD.  He crossed the line last week when he recommended a book that teaches you how to avoid paying your doctor’s bill.  One of the sites I go to is my high school graduating classes’ blog.

I’m sad to say that my HS friends are dying off on a regular basis.  I thought 70 was too young to die.  I thought wrong!  Renee talked to two of her friends today, both of whom are suffering from chronic disorders and are miserable.  Remember when I wrote about my fantastic neighbors and our 5 o’clock cocktails on the driveway?  Twelve out of twelve members of the group are actively seeing doctors for chronic problems.

In her 90s, my mother bemoaned the fact that all of her friends had long since died.  While I’ve seen the elderly become increasingly isolated as their friends die off, I never dreamed it would start in my 70s.  If I don’t want to join my deceased friends, I better get this weight off, exercise and start enjoying life.

So, what are we to do? A quote from Mark Twain sums it up nicely, “Don’t regret growing older.  It’s a privilege denied to many.”  Yep, I’ve wasted too much time regretting my Parkinson’s and the aging process.  It’s time to actively work at getting healthier.  Rock Steady is starting to pay off.  My doc thinks he knows why my legs are weak and how to fix them. Lucky me, more spine surgery.

It’s time to get together with old and new friends.  I won’t miss another reunion whether it be high school, college of fraternity.  Better to see them while they are alive than to wait for their funerals. I’ve resurrected my old patient’s mantra, “I have an attitude of gratitude” for just being alive.

Yes, it’s time to work on the bucket and fuck-it lists as well. 

PS – I’m still coming to Chicago for a few weeks and hope to get together with many of my old friends and patients.  Until then, drop me a note and let me know how you are doing.

Here’re your jokes for the day:

A girl walks into a dry cleaner.

She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The owner says, “Come again!” She says, “No, it was toothpaste this time.”   

Why do Jewish men get circumcised?

Because Jewish women only want things that are 20% off.

A man is involved in a shipwreck and is stranded on an island with nothing but a pig and a dog. After 6 months or so, the guy starts to feel a little “amorous”. So he looks at the pig and says to himself, “What the hell? who’s gonna know.” So he takes off his pants, walks up behind the pig and starts… well.. you know… boinkin the oinker. Suddenly, the dog attacks him and continues to do so until he stops…. Another 6 months go by and the guy is going crazy with need. So, he tries doing the pig again only to be attacked once more by the dog. Yet another several months go by when this BEAUTIFUL woman washes up on shore – naked as the day she was born. One problem, she is not breathing. Quickly the guy gives her mouth to mouth. He nurses her back to health. One day when he is tending her, she looks up at him (STILL NAKED) and says.. in a breathy, sultry voice… “You have saved my life. Anything you want, it is yours. Any desire you   have… ask. Anything… anything at all.” The guy looks at her lustfully and says… “YEAH! Can you hold that damned dog?”

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