Today is one of those crappy days.  As my move to Carolina grows closer, I become more uncertain and fearful.  While Renee and I have always seen ourselves as Virginians who just happen to live in Illinois, it is now certain that we were wrong. Home truly is in Long Grove/Lake Zurich and moving away is really tough.

I will always miss going to the office.  There are days when I just want to drive up to 504 S Rand Rd, let myself into the empty building and just sit and remember all of the great families I was so blessed to care for in my treatment center.  I’ve even talked to the landlord about letting me in one last time.

It seems that, wherever I go, another memory of the past pops up.  Yesterday I drove past Motorwerks.  One of my first patients worked there.  At the end of his office visit, he wanted to show me his new BMW.  I had never driven one even though I had dreamed of owning one.  “Doc, take it home for the night and see how you like it,” led to a 26 year relationship with Motorwerks and a love affair with BMWs.

I’ve been touring my favorite restaurants, eating Kaufman’s corned beef, Lou’s pizza, and everything on Mykonos’ menu one last time.  While southern food is good, I doubt many places can match Chicago’s restaurant scene.  When you are my age, food replaces sex. Moving away from the local culinary scene is like giving up sex.

I’ve been saying good-bye to friends and patients by dining with them at my favorite locations.  I’ve realized that my social life had revolved around my office life and that my patients were really my friends.  It’s no wonder my weight refuses to come down.

I am pissed off at Springfield.  While my house is paid off, I don’t own it.  My taxes are like a lease payment due monthly and the state is my landlord.  I don’t know how anybody retires in Illinois.  The government continues to waste our money, raise our taxes and take no responsibility for their incompetence.  My advice is to stop voting for incumbents!

Leaving my home, Renee’s porch and my pool for a tiny house in a 55 and older community is going to be challenging.  The bright side is that they will have a senior’s recreation center where I can learn to knit and play Mahjong.  LOL!

Writing has been my therapy.  I now have writer’s block. It’s similar to bad constipation, full of gas and seepage.  Today I surfed the internet looking for inspiration.  I found a quote by Michael Pritchard, “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old.  You grow old because you stop laughing.”  He’s right and I’m very old.

I also found the following quote from an unknown source, “Do not regret growing older.  It is a privilege denied to many.”  I do not play “woulda, coulda, shoulda” so I have no regrets. I am thankful for each day I awaken next to Renee.

I woke up next to Renee today so I guess its not such a lousy day.

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6 Replies to “CRAPPY DAY”

  1. Larry and I moved long distanced a couple of times and each time was difficult. Leaving the familiar and those we love is so hard. But as humans we have the wonderful ability to adapt over time. I wish you only happiness in your new home. Be well my dear friend. You will always have a very special place in my heart.

  2. Dr. Segal, we are all very blessed to have you another day in our lives. It doesn’t matter where you are. We are very happy to have you with us. Thank you for your daily wisdom. I, speaking on behalf of myself, will miss you. Terribly. Every day.

  3. Dr. Segal, I just found your blog and I had been a patient of yours for many years. Words cannot do justice for what you have done for me over the years. Being a hypochondriac is miserable and annoying and you became the only person I would trust in deciding if I should worry about something. “If Dr. Segal says I’m ok, then I AM ok.” Once my anxiety got to a certain point you were the only person to put me at ease. Your bedside manor is unparalleled and I consider myself lucky to have called you my doctor. Thank you for your many years of service and I wish you nothing but the best in your upcoming move and look forward to future posts!

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