DIETING

Last night I told Renee I was going to have a lousy week or 2 as I finally decided to take my weight off.  I apologized for being grumpy in advance of being grumpy. I’ve spent today talking to myself.  I’m hungry!  Today is Renee’s and my shopping day.  We went to the kosher grocer for fresh Challah.  If you’ve never tasted Challah, you should try it.

Challah is a braided loaf of a soft egg bread with a dark crust.  Renee slices hers.  If she is not around, I pull off a hunk. My conversation with myself goes like this:

Me – “Go ahead.  Pull off a hunk. You deserve it”.

Me- “No, you don’t!  You’re going to break your diet after only 12 hours?  You know better than that!”

Me –“It’s fresh, you can’t always get fresh Challah.  A chunk of Challah, a smear of cream cheese, a slice of lox, lettuce and tomato”

Me- “What a schmuck.  Either shit or get off the pot.  It’s now or never!”

I DID NOT EAT THE CHALLAH. For me, losing weight requires a change of mind set.  “I live to eat!”  needs to change to, “I eat to live.”  Anyone who knows me knows that my motto is “Go big or go home.” I need to change my motto to “Go any bigger and you won’t be able to fit into your home!”

Writing this article is my declaration of independence from my refrigerator.  Now that I have publicly challenged myself to weight loss, I succeed or embarrass myself.  So, say a prayer and send suggestions. 

Here is today’s joke:

Her husband was so obese that when he weighed himself, the scale said, “Please tell your family members to wait their turn.’

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4 Replies to “DIETING”

  1. Until I saw a reference on Facebook which I do not look at on a regular basis, I had no idea that you had published numerous April blogs! I have always relied on the email notifications which I have not been getting. So glad to see you are back on track to write and have the support of so many of us. You shouldn’t be surprised at the number of individuals reading your blog that should also be taking up the challenge with you to diet!

  2. You can do it. Keep a glass or bottle of water with you & drink before you eat. You can do it. I did. And it doesn’t take a year to start seeing real progress. I’ll keep praying for you.

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