EXERCISE

Is exercise really good for you? I’ve spent the last 40 years encouraging patients to exercise on a regular basis.  My brother owned a gym and exercised every day of his life.  He swears by it. I have exercised off and on for years.  I swear at it!

It seems that every time I exercise, I get hurt.  The latest episode started when I started back in physical therapy.  The therapist has me doing bridges and I sprained my right groin and hip area last week doing bridges at home. My gait was already poor from Parkinson’s and the addition of a limp from the right groin sprain has flared my back.  If exercise is good for you, you certainly couldn’t prove it by my experiences. Is it any wonder I hate to exercise?

My brother who has exercised his entire life had a stroke anyway.  Now, if you are a proponent of exercise, you’d say that exercising for a lifetime has allowed him to survive his stroke and recover faster.  You might be right.  (Certainly, exercise did not keep him from stroking.)

On the other hand, some of my patients believe that you have a fixed number of heartbeats to use in your lifetime and that when you run out, you die.  They would argue that exercise uses up their precious heartbeats faster, ending in a quicker demise.  I wish I could agree with them.  By agreeing with them, I could eliminate my need to exercise. (Of course, sex elevates my heart rate.  If they are right, at least I’ll die smiling.) The main problem I have is that if I don’t get back to exercising, my weight will continue its upward spiral and either I’ll have to give up eating or get a crane to help me get into bed.  Frankly, I love eating almost as much as I love sex so I can’t give up eating. I guess I’ll take a walk. 

Eating and napping are the two tasks I have become expert at and the only enjoyable things left since retiring and getting old.  With advancing age, my third love, sex, is starting to resemble exercise.    Renee, it’s time to exercise.  I think I’ve got a few heart beats left to spend!

Here’s your joke and a song. 

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

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