With the help of my gardener guru, I planted my fall garden yesterday with mixed emotions. On the one hand, sewing seeds for fall and winter vegetables signals the end of summer. Summer has always been my favorite season, allowing me to bask in the sun and swim. This past summer was highlighted by driving with the top down from doctor’s office to doctor’s office and going to my Rock Steady classes. Believe it or not, most days it was too hot to swim.
On the other hand, planting a fall/winter garden is a new and exciting experience as it signals the coming of a mild southern winter. While I loved living in Long Grove, I hated the grey sky of the Midwest fall and the arrival of winter snow. This winter, I’ll have plenty of sunlight and no snow. I expect to drive, top down, year-round.
I’m working on maintaining an “attitude of gratitude” despite the fact that I hate retirement. Yes, I enjoy gardening and driving with the top down, but those activities only take a fraction of the time I have daily. While seeing my docs takes up a significant amount of time, it is depressing.
As a practicing doc, I never realized how depressing retirement could be. I never realized how long a day could be. I also never realized how hard following my advice could be. I envisioned retirement as a glorious time when you could do whatever you wanted. I never envisioned retiring to chronic illness where the only thing I really want to do is walk normally.
Yes, I’m depressed. I can’t put the top down and go for a ride. Someone forgot to break and smashed the back of my car. Renee was driving and she has a mild whiplash. Hopefully, Renee and the car will return to their pre-accident conditions soon. While I have resisted taking more pills, I may need an anti-depressant for a while.
Getting my emotions onto paper has been my best therapy in the past, so I expect that I’ll return to daily publications for a while. I’ll work hard on being upbeat and am sure I’ll find my way out of my current state.
Here’s the joke for today:
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note: “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants.” So, I wrote back: “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I’m not cutting off three inches for anyone.”