FALLS-2

I’m tired of living in pain as were many of my patients over the years.  The older I get, the more places I have pain.  Just when I think it can’t get any worse, it does.  I can live with the pain that comes from doing something I shouldn’t have done and hurting myself.  (There’s no cure for stupidity).  I was on prednisone and felt fantastic.  I felt like I was young again, so I tried running the track at Rock Steady without my walker.  I hit the floor hard!  I remember my head bouncing on the floor and immediate pain everywhere.          

I also remember being embarrassed. I’ve fallen before and had never felt embarrassed.  Why this time?  Because I’m a doctor and know that Parkinson’s causes patients afflicted with it to fall. I should have been more cautious. To make matters worse, while lying on the gym floor, I felt like a beached whale (I’ve lost 10 pounds and have 40 to go). Nonetheless, I did a quick check of my body, diagnosed the broken toe and declared myself healthy and ready to exercise.  That’s when my elbow swelled to the size of a baseball.  You should have seen the look on every body’s faces.  My elbow was scary looking.  I decided it was time to go home so, again acting stupid, I walked myself back to the car.

If I was my own patient, I would have read me the riot act.  I would have been self-righteous and reiterated the fact that Parkinson’s causes falls, and falls hurt!  I would have admonished myself for not using the walker and I would have wanted to ridicule myself for walking back to the car by myself.  I would have said, “I told you so. If you don’t act your age, you are going to hurt yourself.”

Luckily, I’m fine.  No, I did not drive myself home.  Renee was there and waiting for me. She wanted to take me to the ER and I refused.  Again, machismo overwrites wisdom.  Once again, I get lucky and am fine.  The moral of the story is, “Do as I say, not as I do!”  If you are at risk of falling, be careful and follow your doctor’s rules.  If you fall and hurt yourself, get checked by your doc or local ER.  If your spouse tells you he/she is worried about you, listen to your loved one!

Now, here’s your joke of the day:

Me and my girlfriend were going to a Halloween party last year and my girlfriend came down the stairs wearing nothing but boots.

I asked her, “What are you supposed to be?” She said, “Puss in boots.” So, I went into the kitchen and put a potato on my penis. When I came back out, she asked me, “What are you supposed to be?” I said, “If you can be puss in boots, then I can be a dictator