Posted on the kitchen wall in my office, I had a picture of footprints on a beach showing two sets of prints leading into one set of footprints.  The poem that went with the picture was:

One night I dreamed a dream.

As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,

One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,

especially at the very lowest and saddest times,

there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.

“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,

You’d walk with me all the way.

But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,

there was only one set of footprints.

I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you

Never, ever, during your trials and testings.

When you saw only one set of footprints,

It was then that I carried you.”

I don’t know who wrote it, but the poem is truly beautiful.  Over the years I was in practice, I was lucky enough to see evidence of God’s interventions in my patients’s lives.  On several instances, I felt the hand of God guiding my care and therapies.

About 10 years ago, God’s presence seemed to vanish.  I tried, in vain, to figure out what happened but never could.  I finally decided that God went on vacation and didn’t tell anyone.  When I look at the world we live in, I have trouble with the fact that bad things happen to good people and that good things happen to bad ones.

I read multiple books on the subject and talked to the clergy about it and have yet to hear an explanation I can get comfortable with.  My trip through the past reminded me of how many of my mentors have died and, once again, has brought my questions to the surface. 

I know people are born to die but many of my mentors left our world while still young.  Add to that the half million people who have perished from Covid and I think you can see my point.  Is God a vengeful deity who happens to be pissed off at the low attendance in his/her churches, synagogues and mosques?  Is he/she on vacation?  What’s up?

There is, of course, one more very important question:  Why me?  When I first got Parkinson’s, I assumed that God had enrolled me in a course on handling chronic illness as part of my ongoing education.  That assumption led to this thread on my blog.  I was at peace with that idea.

Then, Parkinson’s, along with my back problem, took my practice away.  I didn’t have a good explanation for that.  That pissed me off and I spent a lot of energy on being angry with God.  I asked lots of questions and got no answers.  Today, someone sent me the poem I copied above.  I remembered the picture on the wall in my old office and my anger dissipated.

If there is an afterlife, I assume I’ll get answers to my questions then.  It is said that the pathologist knows everything, just a few moments too late. Will my answers come too late?  I’ll add that question to my afterlife list.

Meanwhile, I’ll try to connect with God and continue to communicate with my former patients and teach through this blog.  I know that some of what I write will offend a few of my readers but I believe that striving to be politically correct stifles original thought and education.

I use vulgarity on occasion.  There are just some sentiments that are best described by vulgar words.  I apologize in advance if I offend you in anyway. 

Here’s your joke for the day:

God said “Adam, I want you to do something for Me”. Adam said “Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?”

God said, “Go down into that valley”. Adam said, “What’s a valley?”

God explained it to him.

Then God said, “Cross the river”. Adam said, “What’s a river?”

God explained that to him.

And then He said, “Go over to the hill…” Adam said, “What is a hill?”

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, “On the other side of the hill you will find a cave”. Adam said, “What’s a cave?”

After God explained, He said, “In the cave you will find a woman”. Adam said, “What’s a woman?’

So God explained that to him, too.

Then, God said, “I want you to reproduce”. Adam said, “How do I do that?”

God first said (under His breath) “Geez…”

And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman. Then, in about five minutes, he was back…

God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, “What is it now?” And Adam said, “What’s a headache?”

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