I’M SO FAT

If, at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again.  If you fall down 4 times, get up 5 times.  There are countless cliches dealing with failure.  They all have a common theme:  you can overcome failure by being persistent in your quest for success.

Personally, I’ve failed every attempt I’ve made to lose weight.  I’ve become obsessed with food and weight loss and obsessions are almost never good.  I spent 40 years counseling others on diet, weight loss and wellth.  I was quite good at it, although I did have my failures.  In retrospect, those failures were probably related to the patient’s obsession/ psychological ties to eating.

I could take the easy way out and blame my medications.  One of the meds for Parkinson’s clearly warns patients that they are high risk for obsessive behaviors.  I could blame the medical marijuana for causing the “munchies.”  I could also blame my upbringing as my family was in the food business and my mother was a perpetual dieter. Lastly, I could blame my weight gain on the effects of depression.

Realistically, placing blame is a worthless exercise.  Laying blame only helps when, by recognizing the contributing factors, you can actually change them.  I’m not going to change my meds!  I can’t change my family history.  Medical marijuana helps the Parkinson’s!  So, what can I do?

My kids will tell you the Segal Motto is, “Go big or go home.”  I’ve gone big!  Big, as in, “You’re so fat the post office is issuing you your own zip code” big.  If carrying around an extra 50 pounds was easy, I would just accept my own zip code with pride and put on a little more.  The problem is carrying an extra 50 pounds is a lot of work and it’s killing my back and knees.

So, I’ve decided to go on a very strict diet.  I have decided that I’m only going to eat food for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks!  I’m going to limit the amount of food I eat to whatever it takes to fill me.  I’m going to stop obsessing about calorie counts, fats, etc.  I’m going to enjoy guilt free eating.

My new obsession is going to be exercise.  I’m going to obsess about burning calories.  I’m going to start everyday with sexercise, then walking, swimming and doing whatever I can to burn calories.  Of course, my Parkinson’s and bad back almost guarantees failure, as walking and swimming are difficult; and, at 70, sexercise is pretty much a mental exercise. But, at least, I’ll succeed at enjoying my all-natural food diet.  I will continue Rock Steady twice a week until I’m strong enough to go three times a week.

Wish me luck.  Who knows, I might even lose a pound or two as my obsession with exercise grows!

Here’s my fat joke for the day:

I’m so fat I wore a yellow rain jacket and people yelled, “TAXI.”