Does it ever feel like the world is conspiring against you? Does it ever feel like if you didn’t have bad luck, you’d have no luck at all? Does it ever feel like you just can’t win?
I’m taking a poll. I really want to know if these are universal feelings or if I’m just screwed up. My hypothesis is that these, in fact, are universal feelings and that healthy individuals get over them fast. On the opposite side, I believe that depressed and emotionally labile individuals live with these feelings.
Why is this important? Quite frankly, it’s important because I woke up this morning convinced that the universe hates me. Yes, Covid-19 has gotten to me. The move has gotten to me. Parkinson’s has gotten to me! Right now, life sucks.
Yesterday, my dear friend sent me pictures of my home in Long Grove. I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to sell it but buyers are scarce and looking for an open floor plan, so it remains on the market. Yesterday’s pictures were heartbreaking. New water pipes are being installed in the neighborhood and my front lawn and driveway have been excavated.
In the end, new water pipes will be a good thing, but for the next month I fear it makes my house unsellable. I never expected to have two houses; but I do, and it is a burden. Parkinson’s is enough of a burden; I didn’t need another problem. So, given the circumstances of my life, what do I do?
It’s easy, I write about it! Writing about this is like puking up a bunch of bile. It’s miserable when you are puking but feels better once you’ve vomited it all up. If I was a betting man, I’d bet that the vast majority of my readers answered yes to the questions above. I’d also bet that each of us has our own way of cleansing ourselves of these feelings.
Cleansing yourself is important. If you don’t realize that you are no different from everybody else and put an end to feeling persecuted, worsening depression sets in and you can spiral into abject misery.
The point of this article is that you need to review and shore up your coping mechanisms. Covid-19, social unrest and whatever the next crisis is are going to keep impacting us and how we handle the emotional strain of life is directly related to how happy or depressed we are.
I woke up this morning convinced that the universe hates me. I no longer feel that way. In writing this, I remembered that yesterday afternoon a friend/patient sent me an air fryer cookbook, just because. I remembered that Bruce, one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met, called to check on me. Bruce has a book of positive sayings that he has accumulated over his lifetime. I kept a copy of that book in my office and used to pull hopeful sayings out of the book to share with people in need. Bruce is sending me a new copy.
Yesterday, I spent the day with my granddaughter. She showered me with love and smiles. Nothing is more cleansing than a child’s unconditional love. I’ll spend next week with my grandson. Turning to family and friends for support, during trying times, is healthy.
Talking about family and friends, my most valuable weapon against depression is the love of my life, Renee. Waking up next to her every morning and going to sleep next to her every night can get me through anything. Yes, she edits these articles, and yes, my usual motive behind mentioning her in glowing words is trying to get lucky, but this time it’s simply to say, “I love you and everything will be fine.”
Here’s your music for today and a joke.
I love everyone. Some people I love to be around, while some of them are people who I love to avoid. And then there are some who I would love to punch in the face.
,Love is getting mad at someone, telling that person to go to hell, and hoping that they get there safely.
2 Replies to “LUCKY”
Your last statement hit home! I had to severe ties with my brother and his wife yesterday. I realized I was trying to hard to keep a relationship and when they started putting me and my family down I finally gave them all the crap back! I feel good now because I no longer have to put up with there crap! But at the same time wished them-no harm even as they hoped it on me! Toxic family members need to be gone so yes telling someone to go to hell can feel good even with it being family!
Sorry to hear you are going through crap but glad you have addressed it.
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