SPECIAL NEEDS

The following comment was posted on this site in response to my CRS article: 

Yep, my CRS is stress related because there is NO way to make life normal for my Special Needs child…. for the 199th time today… “no you can’t go back to work.” “NO you can’t swear, beacause if this Covid 19”, “No I don’t know the answer to that.” “Stop asking, I don’t know” Yep I have CRS! I am inundated with “Why”, “Why Not” “When can I”, “No I won’t”….. only God knows if I really have CRS but right now it’s my lifeline to sanity to say “I CAN’T REMEMBER when I KNEW the answer for my child. . , Yep my form of CRS is hopefully situational… or God forbid my new Normal….. 

Stress is certainly a cause of CRS, and we are all stressed.  Covid-19 has impacted the lives of everyone I know.  The degree of impact is based on many factors.  The degree of impact is directly related to how good your coping skills are.  Unfortunately, no one ever taught you how to deal with stress, depression and hardship.  In the case referenced above, my friend is trying to cope with the stress of having special needs man-child who has no coping skills.

Special needs kids and their parents need as much support and understanding from the communities they live in as they can offer.  Covid-19 has hit these families particularly hard.  Special needs individuals do best when given set routines that they can depend on and give them a source of pride.  Covid-19 has deprived them of work programs, educational programs and religious activities that provide for their needs.

Parents have also been hit particularly hard as they now have to spend close to 24 hours a day providing and caring for their special need’s child. In a previous article, I reviewed the importance of asking “why.”  Children go through a “why” stage of childhood when almost every question involves “why.”  Most children grow out of the “why’ stage.”  Unfortunately, many special needs children don’t.

So, what can we do to help our special needs children and their parents?  Frankly, I don’t have an answer.  I can offer the following advice.  If you know someone with a special needs child, ask their parents what you can do to help.  Can you give the parents a little time off by sitting with their child a few times a week (create a routine)? Do you have an activity or job that the special needs child could safely do?  Again, If you have the time or skill set necessary to work with special needs kids, offer to help.

There is a lot of discussion about regarding changes in our educational system.  I have always felt that coping skills should be taught in our undergraduate educational system.  In grades 1-4, students should learn about themselves and how to live with themselves.  The questions they need to answer are many, such as, “Who am I?” “Why is my hair curly when I want it straight?”  “Why am I short?”

In grades 5-7, students should learn to answer, “Who are you?  You’re different from me.  How do I get along with you? How do I work with you?”

In grades 8-10, the question asked should be, “Who are they and how do I work with them?”

In grades 11 and 12, the question should be, “Who we and how do we cope with the world we are entering?

I catch a lot of flak from those who believe these issues should be dealt with at home, not in school, yet they have no education in child psychology.  When questioned about their own answers to the above questions, they often reverse their opinions and start actively learning everything they can to help their children answer the same questions.  

Here’s your music and a joke or 2.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.  (This reminds me of my trip to Italy.  I’ll have to write about it some day.)

How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes!

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