RELAX, IT’S ONLY A VIRUS

For the first time in a long time, I agree with President Trump.  Relax and don’t let Covid-19 ruin your day.  After all, it’s no big deal.  Let me explain myself.  Covid-19 is no big deal if you compare it to The Holocaust.  Hitler was a much more efficient killer.  Really, Hitler killed millions while Covid-19 has only taken a few hundred thousand, just in the United States.  So why worry?  Our President doesn’t think you should.  

Our President scoffs at wearing masks.  After all, he got Covid-19, was treated and “feels better than ever!”  So, getting Covid-19 is no big deal.  If you get it, he’ll send a helicopter to fly you to Walter Reed Hospital where you’ll receive the best experimental medicine available in the world.  You won’t have to worry about getting insurance coverage or prior authorization.  The government will pick up the tab, won’t they?  So, relax, take it easy and don’t let the virus ruin your day.

Should you worry and take precautions?  No!  Either you’re going to get sick or you’re not, so why fret!  If you get sick, not only will you get a thrilling helicopter ride but you’ll feel better than ever; unless, of course, you die.  It is your God given right to die, isn’t it?  Stand up for your right to die.  Don’t let the government take away your rights.  Screw wearing a mask.

While you’re standing up for your right to die, shouldn’t you have the right to infect your family, friends and co-workers?  Apparently, the President thinks you should.  President Trump is fighting for your rights and to prove his point he’s nailed his wife (can you blame him, most men I know would like to nail her) and others in government.  Support your President.  Take off your mask and nail your wife, your neighbor’s wife and those close to you.  Treat them to a helicopter ride, a steroid high and a chance to meet the Lord.

No other President in our country’s history has been so selfless and reassuring so why are so many people attacking him?  It’s those damn Democrats and their insistence on following the science that is behind this smear campaign.  

Stand up and be counted.  Number 211,668 step up to the pearly gates and pick up your mask.  The winner of this week’s “most infected contacts” contest will get a free trip to hell.

Here’s your music and a joke.  

People are making end of the world jokes, like there’s no tomorrow.

Looks like the end of the world…

Is also made in China.

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LIFE SUCKS, SOMETIMES

“Life sucks!”  I can’t tell you how often I hear that expression.  I hear it from both young and old.  I hear it from the rich and the poor, the employed and the unemployed.  “Life sucks!”  

How can life suck?  Life, itself, is a gift.  Life carries with it limitless potential.  Every day you are alive is a day in which you may find success, happiness, love and wealth.  Happiness is a choice!  You can choose to concentrate on the good things in your life or ignore all that you have and concentrate on what you don’t have.

There are multiple articles on this blog aimed at helping you find health and happiness.  “Blessings List” is still my favorite.  Do you have a Blessings List?  You should.  You should accept every day as a gift from God and be thankful for what you have even if the only thing you have is life itself.  If all you have is your life, you are rich with potential!

What sucks is going to the wake of a young adult.  What sucks is mourning for the recently departed.  Life doesn’t suck but some days do.  On those days, call your best friends or family and get together with them.  Your day will get better!

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IT’S ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE

I need an attitude adjustment.  I bet you do as well.  In the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic crisis, it is very easy to look at the negatives and spiral into depression!  My readers know that I’ve always believed that, if you can make something good come out of something bad, the bad can’t be but so bad.

Well, making something good come out of the effects of Covid-19 turns out to be fairly difficult.  At least it was difficult until Renee and I arrived in Hilton Head and were greeted by our friends, Abe and Linda.  When we are with them, we can be content to sit around and do absolutely nothing!  Obviously, when things are shitty, part of the solution is surrounding yourself with family and old friends.  

Having a lifetime of memories to rehash brings smiles and laughter to the surface most of the time.  SEQUENCE, RUMMY Q and SORRY are our traditional games and helps occupy many evenings with friendly competition and banter.  

As always, food plays a major part in our time together.  First, we play the “What do you want for dinner?” game. Traditionally, Abe and I go down to the grills while the women prep the rest of the dinner.  While I never drink at home, when on vacation, a dirty martini or vodka and tonic is the usual libation.  I majored in drinking while at UVa.  Now, two drinks and I’m wasted.  I can’t believe how old I’ve gotten.

Unfortunately, it’s a little cloudy and cool, limiting our beach and hot tub time.  Fortunately for me, Abe has a new M series BMW convertible.  Talk about fun, sitting in the passenger seat with Abe behind the wheel, top down transports me back to when I was 19 and we were in Abe’s Camaro.  It’s nice to be 19 again, even if just for a few minutes.  I think I’ll sleep in the Beemer tonight!

Well, my attitude adjustment is complete.  I feel much better.  We have seven more days together, then it’s back to Charlotte.  We are already planning our next two trips for December and February.  I’ve got a lot to look forward to.  

Take my advice.  Surround yourselves with friends and family who have similar quarantine rules to your own.  Make something good come out of the pandemic and stay healthy.  

Here’s your music and a joke. 

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey, Tommy, wanna play house?” He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?” The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.” “Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means.” The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”

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SHOULD IT BE A CRIME?

While I’m still in the midst of a writer’s block, I’m pissed!  Well, maybe pissed is not the right description of what I’m feeling.  I’m also amazed, confused, a little scared and, at the same time, see some humor in this world!  Yes, I’m rapidly cycling all of these emotions and more because of Covid-19.

What started me down this road is my vacation to Hilton Head with my dearest friends and Renee.  Abe and I have traveled together for years.  Whenever we get together, the child in me comes out to play.  I get younger, laugh more and really enjoy life, at least for a while.

Unfortunately, this trip is different.  The President’s admission to Walter Reed Hospital should have awakened the country to the need for wearing a mask!  The President’s infection should scare the crap out of everyone.  It hasn’t.

Yesterday, Abe and I (both wearing N 95 masks) were getting on an elevator in our hotel.  Abe had a case of vodka on his shoulder.  At the far side of the elevator was a maskless man, his 3-year-old son (masked) and his wife (masked, as well). The young father told us that we needed to get off the elevator as the rule was one family at a time.  We got off.  While we could have maintained adherence to the six-foot rule, there was no reason to argue. 

In Hilton Head, South Carolina, not wearing a mask is illegal.  People still won’t wear masks.  This young father, while keeping the six-foot rule when it fit into what he was doing, obviously was not going to obey the law when it comes to wearing masks.

Given that President Trump has run his own experiment proving that even the President needs a mask and, given that in SC wearing a mask is mandated by law, and that if Mr. No Mask were to get infected his young child would be at risk, then could not wearing a mask be construed as child neglect? 

Sound harsh?  It is!  It’s time to get harsh and serious.  The law states you have to stop at a “stop” sign.  Running a stop sign puts you and your community at risk of harm.  Can you imagine if some drivers decided that stopping at “stop” signs was inconvenient and started running “stop” signs?  Well, as long as running a stop sign is an offense that the police will ticket you for, the vast majority of people will stop.  Until the laws governing mask are real laws and not just mandates, and until the police ticket people for not wearing a mask, there will be more Mr. No Masks.  The majority of people will get away with not wearing a mask.  Those, like our President, who get sick, will regret it!  They will infect their friends and family.  You may even see them on the news as the reporter tells you a heart wrenching story of the life and death of a young father and his child from Covid-19.

So, wear your mask, keep at least 6 feet apart, wash your hands and get your flu shot. By the way, Americans like to make up their own rules, justifying their actions based on internet garbage.  Simply put, stop it.  Follow the rules as if they were “stop” signs and maybe you’ll avoid big trouble.

Here’s your music and a joke. 

A man just back from a long trip through the tropics starts feeling very unwell. He goes to see his doctor but passes out in the office and is rushed to hospital for tests.

The man wakes up alone in a private room, feeling awful, wondering what is happening to him. Soon, a phone by his bed rings:

“This is your doctor. We have the results of your tests. You have an extremely nasty syndrome called BASE. It’s a coinfection of Bird Flu, Anthrax, SARS and Ebola.”

“Oh my god! …What’s going to happen, Doctor?”

“First we’re going to put you on a diet of pizza, Fruit Leather and wafers.”

“And that’ll help me???”

“Not really, but… it’s the only food we can fit under the door.”

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THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT

Renee and I are binging on a Netflick series about the devil.  Lucifer, the devil, takes a vacation on earth and teams up with a homicide detective to solve various crimes and punish the bad guys.

Lucifer’s relationship with the homicide detective and later with a psychiatrist start to soften and humanize the devil.  Despite the fact that no one believes him, Lucifer, who never tells a lie, tells everyone he is the devil and often talks of his father (God) in derogatory terms.  Lucifer blames all of the world’s misery on his father.  He’s not happy with his mother either.

The show, while hysterical, is also what my friend refers to as a chick flick.  Lucifer and Detective Decker fall in love and much of the show revolves around the on-again off again relationship.  Realistically, the show is a psychodrama as the writers dissect the relationships between:

Detective Decker and Lucifer

Lucifer and his father (God)

Lucifer and his mother (Goddess)

Lucifer and his brothers (Angels)

Lucifer and his demon friend

Lucifer and his psychiatrist

God and the devil’s mother who he sent to Hell

In the last episode I watched, God visits earth and ends up in a psych ward.  Lately, with all the insanity going on in the world, I’ve postulated that God must be on vacation.  After watching Lucifer, I now wonder if God is on vacation and in a psych ward somewhere.

While the show is believable, it has one flaw.  Lucifer owns a night club.  To be more realistic, the writers should have made Lucifer an insurance executive or politician.  Of course, that would create a lot of issues with the main character as the devil takes great pride in the fact that he never lies, and we all know that politicians and insurance executives have perfected the art of lying. 

While this is not one of my better articles, I really think you ought to watch this show if for no other reason that it has a cast full of very talented and beautiful actors and actresses who will entertain you and make you think!  Wouldn’t it be nice if the Devil could be tamed?

Here’s your music and a joke.

One fine day, a priest, a rabbi, and a high priestess decide to all go fishing. They manage to get to the water, and off they go. One hour later, the high priestess says, “I think I forgot the food!” She steps off the boat, walks across the water, gets the picnic basket, and walks back! As they are eating, the priest thinks, “What a display. Jeez, where does she get off walkin’ on the water?” Right then, the rabbi says, “Oye! I forgot the drinks.” He steps right off the boat and walks across the water to get the drinks. By this time, the priest is very frustrated! He excuses himself, and as the priest steps out of the boat, he falls in the water. The high priestess turns to the rabbi and says, “You think we should have told him about the rocks?”

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