Happy New Day! Yep, I’m back.  My sabbatical is over and I’m ready to get my act together and go on the road.  Yesterday, Renee and I dressed up to go out to dinner with friends.  I should say Renee dressed; I tried on clothes that were mine but obviously belonged to the old me.  Nothing fit! Not only did my clothes not fit, they weren’t even close to fitting.

Along with the embarrassment of having outgrown everything I wear came the flood of memories of the multitude of obese patients I treated and the sagely advice I gave them.  The realization that I had ignored everything I know about obesity and weight loss was staggering.

When you are fat, well meaning friends and colleagues are quick to tell you about their experiences with the latest and greatest diets.  At any one point, there must be 100 fad diets circulating the globe.  They all work for some individuals and fail for others.  Most are restrictive plans that dictate what can be eaten and what cannot.  In reality, I know what works for me.  I’ve just been ignoring it.

Renee asked me how I feel this morning and I told her every part of my body hurt.  When you think about it, my body should hurt.  I’m carrying around a 50-pound sack of potatoes 24/7.  As an exercise in reality, I used to have my obese patients carry around a 5-pound bag of flour all day and measure the effects of that added 5 pounds on their general wellness.  Almost always, they noted an increase in aches, pains and fatigue after a few days living with 5 extra pounds.  Well, I skipped the 5-pound homework project and jumped straight to 50 pounds of mega fat!

It’s time to dust off “Diets and Other Unnatural Acts” and go to work on my body. Turn on your TV and, no matter which news channel you turn to, you’ll hear about the dismal state our country’s infrastructure is in.  The government is proposing that a trillion dollars go into the repairs needed.  My infrastructure is 70 years old and in desperate need of repair!  I only need a billion dollars to accomplish my goals.  While I’m waiting for my billion, I’m getting started on my remodel Stewart job.  I figure its going to take 1 ½ years.  In the meantime, I’m going to resume writing my blog and working on my book.

Here’re your jokes for the day:

After a month of dieting, I lost 30 days!

Definition of “diet” is I ate it.

I’m a light eater.  As soon as the light comes on, I eat!

Today’s jokes come from Best diet jokes ever – Weight loss jokes for funny moments.

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