There are “care givers” and “care takers”; and, when a care giver is forced into being a care taker, all hell breaks loose.  Let me explain.  In general terms, there are givers and takers, the takers far out numbering the givers. Over the 40 years I was doc, my job was to take care of both groups; but I always felt that care givers should be given an extra dose of care, no matter the cost or difficulties associated with that extra care.  Without care givers, the sick and injured would be in a world of trouble.

In May of this year, I wrote an article entitled Superwoman.  The article was about Renee and I referred to her as Superwoman. Through the years I have written numerous articles about my Superwoman.  You see, Renee is a care giver, and that makers her precious.  I, too, am a care giver and that’s where the trouble starts.

The other day, we went out to lunch.  Renee insisted on getting the walker out of the trunk as she worries that I’m going to fall or hurt my back lifting the walker.  Her fears are valid.  I insisted on getting the walker out of the trunk as Renee has a bad back and getting the walker out means stressing her back.  Both of us want to care for the other and both of us are frustrated when the other insists on doing what we feel we should be doing to care for them.

To make matters worse, when a young passerby asks if he can help, both of us thank him and quickly point out that we can handle it.  It’s hard for a care giver to accept help. It should be noted that care givers are often stubborn when it comes to their ability to give care.   I believe the stubborn refusal to accept help stems from a loss of the pride they had felt by helping others.

It’s critical that care givers learn two things.  Thing number one is that they need to care for themselves so that they will be healthy enough to care for others.  Thing two is that they need to learn to accept care from others.  It’s not easy but is so necessary!

 It’s also a matter of common sense.  By accepting a little help now, they lessen the odds of breaking a hip and needing a lot more care in the future.  The point of this article is that, eventually, care givers will become care takers; and, that by learning to accept care from others, they will ultimately lessen the amount of care they need.  Yes, it is confusing.

Think about who are the givers and takers in your life, then pay special attention to the givers.  Offer them as much help as you can but don’t be offended when they refuse your help. Keep offering them help as they age and give them a copy of this article.

Here’re your jokes of the day:

Husband and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

“Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad,” gushed son number one, a surgeon. “Sorry, I’m running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn’t have time to get you a gift.”

“Not to worry,” said the father, “the important thing is that we’re all together today.”

Son number two, a lawyer, arrived and announced, “You and Mom look great, Dad.”  I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn’t have time to shop for you.”

“It’s nothing,” said the father. “We’re glad you were able to come.”

Just then, the daughter, a marketing executive, arrived. “Hello and Happy Anniversary! I’m sorry but my boss is sending me out of town: and I was really busy packing, so I didn’t have time to get you anything.”

After they finished dessert, the father said, “There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years, your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married.”

The three children gasped and all said, “You mean we’re bastards?”

“Yep,” said the father, “and cheap ones, too!”

Question: What does one boob say to the other boob?

Answer: If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

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  1. This article touched me! As being a CareGiver most of my life for others it really hit home when I had to take care of my husband for 3 1/2 years….It took its tole on me both physically and mentally and I was bound and determined to see it through tell the end no matter what. (Through sickness and health, till death do us part!) Those that have never been a CareGiver for 24/7 for years, have no idea what it’s like, and I’d never wish it on anyone. It’s a lonely, hard road to travel and you really find out who your friends are.
    Since I’ve finally made the decision to move on with MY new life, I moved into a new house in a new neighborhood, hoping and praying I’d made the right decision. Well, not to long ago I was taken by surprise and ended being a CareTaker! It was very hard for me to admit I was the one needing help, has it’s always been me being the CareGiver. All I can say is GOD works in mysterious ways. My mom flew in on the day I started needing care. She took care of me and I also found out I have several WONDERFUL new neighbors and friends that really cared about me. There was so much concern, food, cards, flowers, and etc. that I couldn’t believe it. I’m feeling so blessed and glad GOD brought all these new neighbors and friends into my life…..
    Moral of my story, you never know what GOD has in store for you and we all, at sometime in our life, will be a CareTaker no matter if we want to be or not….GOD bless all those CAREGIVERS, I can’t say that enough, and please offer them a break from Care Giving, trust me they need it!

    Ok, I’ll get off my soap box…
    Have a beautiful day!

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