Month: May 2020

If you found the genie in a bottle and the genie offered to provide you with any tool you could imagine, what would you ask for?  I’d ask for a retrospectascope.

The genie would give me one of those strange looks and ask, “What the hell is a retrospectascope?”  My retrospectascope would allow you to look back at any point in time and either put you on the right path to success or, in my case, stop me from making a fool of myself.

My mother moved from Norfolk to our house in Long Grove in 2009.  At that time, I told her to sell most of her belongings and only pack the essentials as we had a full house and everything she could want.  I was furious when the movers showed up with the entire contents of her house.  I still have a substantial amount of her stuff and she died in 2014.

Flash forward to today.  As I’m packing to move to our new, much smaller house in North Carolina, I realized that Renee and I have packed way too much.  We started packing weeks ago and promised to take only the bare minimum.  We failed!

It’s hard to let go of stuff!  I’ve got stuff of my mom’s and my dad’s.  I’ve got stuff from my childhood, my college years, Mexico and my Illinois life.  I’ve thrown stuff out only to pull it out of the garbage later.  How do you give away or throw out your stuff?

One thing is for sure.  I owe my mom an apology.  She couldn’t let her stuff go.  Looking back through a retrospectascope armed with the knowledge I now have would have stopped me from being an ass.No one understands stuff better than George Carlin.  If you’ve never heard his “Stuff” here’s a 5 minute version

I’ve been watching too much TV and reading too many spy books.  As a result of media overload, I had a vivid nightmare last night.  In the dream, we were sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a holiday meal with my family.  My grandson starts the following conversation:

RJ – “Zadie, what was your favorite MRE (meals ready to eat) when you were growing up?”

Zadie – “When I was young, we didn’t have MREs!”

RJ – “If you didn’t have MREs, then what did you eat?”

Zadie – “We ate food.  My mother always gave me my own 1 pound Porterhouse steak.”

RJ – “What’s a Porterhouse steak?”

Zadie – “Prior to Covid, we ate meat.  The butcher would kill a cow and cut it into portion called steaks, roasts, hamburger, etc.  Then we would cook it.  It was phenomenal.”

RJ – “Why can’t we have steaks?  What happened to the cows and butchers?”

Zadie – “It’s a long story.  The Covid virus killed hundreds of thousands of people.  People thought Covid was a joke, so they ignored it.  As the virus spread, it mutated and attacked other species.  Your Bubbie and I practiced “shelter in place” rules and mostly withdrew from society.  Because we took it seriously, we are all alive today to enjoy this holiday meal with you.  We’ve grown to love the MREs almost as much as steak.”

Bubbie – “Riley, it’s time to ask your 4 questions.  Did you memorize them?”

RJ – “Do I have to?  OK.  Why is this night different from all other nights?  Why do we mask and glove on all other nights but tonight we shed our masks and feast on cooked food rather than MREs?  Why didn’t everybody listen to the scientist and shelter in place?  What’s a grocery store?”

Zadie – “Well, RJ, those aren’t quite the questions I expected but I’ll answer them.  First, a grocery store was a wonderful place where you could walk around and pick up all kinds of wonderful foods; meats, vegetables, fruits, fish, chicken, and many more things.  They were relatively cheap, so you filled a cart full of goodies and took them home to eat them.  Zadie was 100 pounds fatter during those years.”

RJ- “What does fat mean?”

Zadie – “That’s a topic for a later discussion. What’s truly important is teaching you why people didn’t listen to the government and authorities.  During the first Covid Pandemic, the internet and journalists filled everyone with fear, rumors and conjectures.  The governments of the world put everyone in isolation, and it worked for a while.  When things looked better, the people, bored and broken by being isolated, rebelled and the government caved to their wishes.  Isolation rules were lifted and, eventually, the virus came back with a vengeance.”

RJ – “Would things have been different had we stayed in isolation longer?”

Zadie – “I think so.  Look at us, we’re the healthiest people around.  By the way, Bubbie bought you guys new masks.  They’re N100 with all the latest tech built in.  They even function as cell phones so you don’t have to touch anything.  I almost forgot to ask.  Are your new body gloves comfortable?

So, is it a nightmare or a glimpse into the future?  As for Renee and me, we will continue to keep a distance between us and the rest of the world.  We’ll mask, wash our hands frequently and wait for the vaccine. 

Have you seen the price of MREs?  They are skyrocketing!  I suspect others have had similar nightmares.  As America opens for business, let’s not forget to be cautious and never underestimate Covid’s fury!

Here’s today’s song.

Well, I’ve run out of words.  Renee and I are actively packing with a move date of May 29, her birthday.  I suspect that my writer’s block will last until the move is complete.

In the meantime, I’ll link you to articles I read that I think are helpful and appropriate.  Today, ZdoggMD does a nice review of the in’s and out’s of antibody testing.  Just click on the hyperlink. As always, if you have a subject you would like m to cover, let me know.

If you know where I can find decent toilet paper, please let me know.  I still don’t understand how TP disappeared from the shelves.  Currently, I’m using something that reminds me of sandpaper.  

Here’s your song of the day:   https://youtu.be/fm-q0ELuk1A

Hope you enjoy, “Our House.”  Certainly, anyone who buys Casa Segal will.  I just opened the pool and it is beautiful.

Mornings start at 4 a.m. and tend to be great.  Some mornings, my body forgets it has Parkinson’s.  This morning was one such morning.  My legs worked, my balance was good and nothing hurt.  I made a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table contemplating the move. 

At 4 am, the house is quiet.  There are no talking heads spewing forth doom and gloom, no one reading the names of the dead, no silly TV shows; just me and my thoughts of the present and memories of the past.  It’s a great time to listen to the music in my head, write an article or two and even work on organizing a book.

By 10 am, I’m an old man.  My legs no longer work well and, with the struggle to walk, my mood sinks.  I’m 20 years older than when I woke up.  This morning, during my down time, I answered one of my former patient’s email.  I was honest and said life sucked.  I wrote about the frustration of trying to sell a home in the Covid era.  This morning, I was particularly down as I watched my pool glimmer as the sun came up. 

Usually, this is my favorite time of the year.  As my pool awakens, so does the neighborhood.  Normally, the sounds of kids playing, laughing and splashing emanates from my backyard.  I love the intermingling of the sounds of nature and kids having fun; living life to its fullest.  This year the pool will be mostly silent.  We will be gone and a pool service will be maintaining the water while waiting for someone to purchase the house and pool.

Some lucky family will know the joy of swimming and laughing in their own backyard.  I imagine they’ll play basketball, bags and volleyball while the dad serves lunch and dinner fresh off the grill.  All of this passed through my mind this am.  Then I imagined a pool sitting by itself, no children, no laughter as the house waits to be sold.

I’m still riding the roller coaster.  By 11 am, I’m really in the pits.  DING, my phone lets me know I have a new email.  It’s from the patient/friend I had just dumped my mood on and it’s special.  The email is uplifting and hopeful.  She couldn’t have done a better job at lifting my spirits if she had 40 years of experience as a PhD. Psychiatrist.

She threw me a life raft and I thank her for caring.  When I’m up, I write and so tomorrow you’ll read this article.   I’ll publish it just before I put on a winter coat and go sit by the pool.  Illinois weather really does suck.

For those of you who are riding the roller coaster, choose to be happy but make sure your friends and family know how you feel.  They are your life raft when the ride goes out of control.  If you are lucky, you’ll have friends like mine who will share their wisdom with you.

Here is today’s music: 

I could not say it better!  Here’s a link to ZdoggMD.

I find it interesting that Zdogg attributes a large portion of his success to training he received from nurses.  During my 4^th year of medical school I did my clinical rotations at Portsmouth General Hospital. PGH did not have a formal curriculum so the medical director assigned his old school head nurse the task of arranging my rotations and my training.

She was phenomenal.  First of all, no one ever said no to her.  Her skill set and knowledge were amazing.  I think she was the most respected person in the hospital.  Beyond arranging for my clinical rotations, she trained me as a nurse.  That knowledge helped shape me into the physician I became.

Unfortunately, nurses, like doctors, have become enslaved by the hospital’s and insurer’s lust for data.  We’ve all become data input specialists, clicking away, checking boxes and recording useless shit that is required by everybody except us (docs and nurses).

At the nurses core/heart is still the desire to care for those in need.  The next time the doc is running late or you have a problem with the hospital or office, remember the video you just watched and don’t take it out on the nurse!

One more thing.  I’ve have gotten multiple requests for my opinion about the “Plandemic” video.  Once again, Zdogg says it better than I can.  Watch: https://zdoggmd.com/plandemic/

I am aware that many of you do not like ZdoggMD’s presentation style but his material is factual and he is brilliant.

Once again, I have a song in my head and an article to be written.  Please listen to “Happy Talk” and then read on.  I hope you enjoy this rendition of Happy Talk by Ella Fitzgerald.

You have a very simple choice, be happy or not.  Yep, it’s up to you.  Nothing or no one can make you happy if you don’t choose to be happy.  Unfortunately, others can make you unhappy if you choose to allow them to do so.  Let me explain.

Every time you open the above hyperlink, you are going to see an ad.  Did you watch the ad or did you hit the skip button?  If you choose to watch the ad, you probably have chosen to be unhappy.  The ads are provocative and disturbing.  

My patients are frightened, anxious, depressed, broken hearted, lonely, etc.  The economy is collapsing, people are losing their jobs, worried about paying bills, worried about food shortages, social unrest, etc.  I can go on and on.

How today’s worries affect you and your loved one’s hinges on one simple decision.  Am I going to be happy or not?  I know it’s hard to believe, but you can choose to be happy.  Yes, you have to deal with what’s going on in your life, but how you deal with it decides how it affects you.

Do you have a dream?  The song’s lyrics, “You gotta have a dream, if you don’t have a dream, How you gonna have a dream come true?” asks a pivotal question.  So, do you have a dream?

When I was young, my friends and I had dreams.  Dreams of happiness have guided me through life.  My dreams have changed with age; but, at each step, they have guided me.  At first, my dreams were about things, BMWs, girls, vacations, girls, mansions, and girls.  I think you get the gist.

Along came Renee and my dreams morphed into marriage, family, my medical practice, vacations, time with my buddies, etc.  As those dreams were realized and my age advanced, I dreamed of my kids’ successes, grandchildren, vacations, friends, etc.

Then came Parkinson’s.  I stopped dreaming.  Dreams became nightmares.  Then the nightmare of a pandemic became reality.  Dreaming became impossible.  Without dreams, life became joyless and depressing.  My former patients call daily.  They are in the same place as I am.

So, what changed?  Yesterday, a dear friend sat by the pool with me (9 feet apart) and we talked about world events, the nightmare of Covid, cabin fever and more.  That’s when he said, “I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend the rest of my life scared and depressed.  You have two choices in life: you can choose to be happy or not.  I choose to be happy!”

He’s a wise man!  I choose to be happy as well.  Awakening with “Happy Talk” on my mind is the beginning.  Now to start dreaming good dreams: dreams of playing with my wife, children and grandchildren will drown out the dreams of Parkinson’s and Armageddon. Dreams of sunny Carolina days, road trips to Atlanta and Virginia will fuel my happiness and keep me alive.

Do you have a dream?  If not, find one.  Choose to be happy.

Enjoy some music: 

https://youtu.be/QaH7Mdt5DkQ https://youtu.be/vuKt7USFPSo

I really am sick of the news media.  Every 30 minutes reveals new “Breaking News.”  The new breaking news is the same as the last breaking news and, most probably, will turns out to be wrong.  That’s right, I said wrong.

You don’t need a mask.  You need a mask.  You don’t need an N95 mask, a home made one using toilet paper will work.  Maintain at least 6 feet of space between you and another person.  Tests show coughs go 9 feet or more.

A million people are going to die.  No, it’s more like 50 thousand.   No, it’s now looking like 100,000 will die.  It’s ok to let businesses open, people can protect themselves by keeping their distance and wearing mask.  It’ not ok to open businesses, it will lead to Armageddon. I think the truth is that every scenario is fraught with risk. So, weigh your risks against your potential benefits and make the decision that iseems right for you and your family.  Oh yes, you might also say a prayer or two.

THE TRUTH IS NO ONE KNOWS WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN OR WHAT’S RIGHT. The news media is interviewing “experts” in an attempt to grab market share.  Their experts use the scientific method to try to predict what’s coming next.  The key word is “predict”!  They don’t actually know what’s coming.  I think the best thing the pundits could do is to qualify everything they predict with a disclaimer or other qualifier.

“At this time, with the data we have available, we believe that 75- 100,00 Americans are likely to die from Covid-19,” is a lot different than “75-100,00 thousand Americans will die.”  Of course, it’s not as sensational as the qualified statement and therefore, not as likely to increase the news program’s market share.

It’s time we recognize that we are in uncharted territory.  We are learning and sooner or later will figure out what to do; but, in the meanwhile, we are on a roller coaster and can’t get off.  So, buckle up, take sensible precautions, protect those at risk and get back to living your life.

When you hear, “Breaking news,” don’t panic.  What they tell you today, they are likely to rescind tomorrow.  By the way, if you listen to one, one-hour news program a day, you’ll get all the info you need.  If you let them bombard you for hours every day, you’ll probably be more anxious and depressed than you need to be.

My favorite Covid news: https://youtu.be/_5DXs8xxaMU, will help make my point.

ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH (open hyperlink)

Wow, the suns out and it’s 75 degrees. I’m having a Zip-a-dee-doo-dah day. I worked in the garage this morning, deciding which tools I’ll take to North Carolina.  Then I started picking through 30 years of clothes and packing the clothes I’m keeping.  After a few more task, I took a well deserved nap in the sun.

Like the other day, I awoke singing a song.  Zip-a-dee-doo-dah zip-a-dee-a, my oh my, what a wonderful day, plenty of sunshine heading my way, zip-a-dee-doo-dah zip-a -dee-a,

Yep, some sun, some warmth, and a caring note from a patient, makes for a wonderful day.  Did you think I was singing simply because the sun was shining and it was warm?

My patient/friend sent me a text.  She knows I’ve been struggling with my weight, so she sent me an “I know you can do it,” pep letter.  She’s working on her diet and lifestyle as well and she shared many of her successful/positive changes she’s made.

She’s actually quite good at teaching and reviewed, with me, much of what I used to teach people.  So, it’s off to work (in the kitchen) I go whistling a Disney song, enjoying my wonderful day.  If only I could eat what I want to eat.

“What did you say, Will (Power)?  Get my mind out of the gutter?  Yeah, I’ll make a large salad and broil some fish.  Thanks to Will Power and all my supportive friends and patients I’m going to get this weight off.  

One of the worst games an anxious person can play is “What If.”  One of my patients was playing that game today.  My patient’s elderly parent lives in the south.  My patient is worried that she will never see her parent again.

My patient and his spouse are in the risk of death category.  If they get Covid-19, it’s going to be bad.  My patient and his spouse have sheltered in place for 6 weeks and intend on continuing to avoid outside contact until the virus abates or a vaccine is available.

As I’ve previously stated, social isolation is one of the worse effects of Covid.  Not being able to see his 96-year-old parent is unthinkable.  I review all of his options and suggested that they drive to Florida to celebrate his parents 97^th birthday and that’s when the “Ifs” showed up.

What if my car breaks down on the road?  What if we have to stay in a hotel?  What if restaurants and rest stops are closed?  The “what ifs” spewed out one after another.

“What if” is a game you can’t win.  What if lightning strikes right now?  What if your loved one dies while you sit immobilized by the “what if” game? “What If,”  by its very nature, provokes anxiety and anxiety immobilizes you.  The effects of anxiety can be worse than the Covid virus.  A significant number of patients recover from Covid.  I believe fewer patients recover from the “what if” game.

The best way to deal with the “what if” game is to refuse to play!  What if the car breaks down?  I’ll deal with it.  I’ll call AAA or a tow truck.  I have a cell phone.  What if we have to stay in a hotel?  We’ll stop at a higher end hotel.  We’ll carry sanitary wipes and clean the room ourselves.  We’ll stay on the first floor so we don’t have to take an elevator.  What if restaurants are closed? We’ll take our own food in a cooler.

When the “what ifs” pop up whack them with positive thoughts.  It’s like playing Whack-a-mole.  Keeping a positive outlook is critical.  If you are religious, place yourself in God’s hands.  If not, develop an attitude of gratitude.  Be grateful you have  living parent sand plan to see them again.

For sure, let those who love you know how you feel.  Trust them to come up with helpful advice.  My advice to my patients today was to follow their hearts and if their hearts are in the south, by all means, go.

Renee and I will be driving south I 3-4 weeks.  That’s where our hearts are and that’s where you will find us in June.